Tell Me Three Things by Julie Buxbaum Read Free Book Online

ask.
    “No joke. It’s for my anxiety.” I can hear the smile in his voice, and I find myself smiling back.
Only in California,
I think. He holds the joint out toward me, but I shake my head. My dad has had enough trauma for one day. He doesn’t need to see his Goody Two-shoes daughter smoking up with his new stepson. For a pharmacist, he’s surprisingly conservative about pharmaceuticals. “Anyhow, I think she’d be relieved it’s just a joint. A kid from school died last year. Heroin OD.”
    “That’s awful,” I say. There was a ton of drug use at my old school. Doubt the stuff they take here is any harder, probably just more expensive. “I wonder what
his
prescription was for.”
    Theo shoots me a look. It takes him a moment to realize I’m kidding. I tend to make jokes at inappropriate times. Go darker than I probably should. He might as well learn that about me now.
    “You know, in any other situation, I could see us being friends. You’re not that bad. I mean, Ashby could have a field day giving you a makeover, but you already have the raw material. And I can tell you’re kind of cool in your own way. Funny.” Theo looks straight ahead, delivers his backhanded compliments to the hills. “Your dad sucks, though.”
    “And you
are
kind of an asshole,” I say. “For real.”
    Theo laughs, shudders at some invisible wind. It cools down at night here, but it’s still too hot for the scarf he has knotted around his neck. He takes a hit, long and hard. I’ve never smoked pot, but I can see the appeal. I can feel him unwinding next to me, sinking deeper into the chair. The glass of wine has loosened me too. I wish Rachel had offered me a second. That’s a gift I wouldn’t have refused.
    “Yeah, I know. But do you have any idea how much shit I’m going to take at school because of him? Jesus Christ.”
    “I don’t feel sorry for you.”
    “No, you probably shouldn’t.”
    “This sucks for me too. All of it. Every single minute of every single day,” I say, and once it’s out, I realize just how true it is.
Dad, you were wrong: it could be worse. It is
so much
worse.
“I had a life back in Chicago. Friends. People who would actually
say hello to me
in the halls.”
    “My dad died of lung cancer,” Theo says, apropos of nothing, and takes another long hit. “That’s why I smoke. Figure if you can run twelve miles a day and get cancer anyway, I might as well live it up.”
    “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
    “I know, right?” Theo puts out the joint, carefully saves what’s left for later. He stands up and looks me straight in the eye. No trace of his temper tantrum left. “Hey, for what it’s worth, I’m really sorry about your mom.”
    “Thanks,” I say. “Sorry about your dad.”
    “Thanks, I guess. By the way, can you please start eating the food in the kitchen? Gloria keeps bugging me about you. She said all that ramen is going to make you
guapo.
”
    “The ramen is going to make me handsome?”
    “
Gordo. Gorda.
Whatever. It’s going to turn you into a big fat fatty fat fatty. All right, my community service is done for the day.”
    “Wow, still an asshole,” I say, but this time I let my smile seep into my voice. Theo is actually not that bad either. Not great, but not that bad.
    “So I’m probably still not going to talk to you at school,” he says, and for one fleeting second, I wonder if he could be SN.
    “I figured as much,” I say, and he gives me one quick guy nod before turning his back on me to go inside.

CHAPTER 6
To: Somebody Nobody ([email protected])
From: Jessie A. Holmes ([email protected])
Subject: I’m out of clever titles.
Ever feel like your life is one long nightmare and you just keep hoping you wake up, but you never do?

To: Jessie A. Holmes ([email protected])
From: Somebody Nobody ([email protected])
Subject: Sleeping Beauty
ummm, yeah. things that bad?

To: Somebody Nobody ([email protected])
From: