Tempting Miss Allender (Regency Rakes 3) by Wendy Vella Read Free Book Online

even if it was on a subject he had no wish to pursue. Ignoring the pain in his chest, he said, “Anthony doesn’t know his portrait is hidden away, Patience.”
    She looked at the paintings above them once more, then turned to him again. Mathew felt suddenly stripped bare as she studied him intently, almost as if she could read every thought in his head and pain in his soul.
    “It is not them. It is you who doesn’t want Anthony’s portrait in here. You are still, grieving aren’t you?” She spoke slowly, almost a whisper.
    He didn’t show the surprise her words made him feel, Mathew had become good at hiding his thoughts since his brother’s death. It was a subject that he stored in the back of his head unless he was alone; only then did he let the pain come along with the memories. His mother and sister had mourned but moved on, allowing the memory of Anthony to settle in a warm place inside their hearts and minds, but Mathew had not. He still struggled to speak of the brother he’d lost.
    “Yes,” he rasped. “Every bloody day.” He hadn’t meant to say the words, but they tumbled out before he could swallow them down.
    She reached out toward him and then lowered her hand when she realized what she had done, but Mathew caught it, trapping it in his own, folding her small fingers inside his larger ones.
    “Did you…have you mourned for him, my lord?”
    “Mathew, Patience. Can you not try to call me Mathew?”
    “No, I cannot, and we are discussing you, not me.” Her frown deepened as she tried to remove her fingers from his. “To heal, one must first accept Anthony’s passing, and acceptance does not come by removing all traces of that person from your life, my lord.”
    The lure of her skin was too hard to resist. He traced her cheek with one finger. It felt warm and silken to the touch.
    “Don’t.” She tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t let her. In fact, he pulled her closer.
    “How did you accept your parents’ deaths, Patience?”
    “Lucy, Charles and I talk of our parents constantly, and we have miniatures of them that we carry with us everywhere. They have left us, yes, but our memories of them are still very much alive in the recounting of each story about them.”
    Her eyes found his and then flitted away as once again she attempted to pull her fingers free.
    “I have been so long without him in my life now, the memory and the man, that I believe it is best for us all to leave it that way.”
    “But it is not best! He is your brother, my lord, and the man you and your family loved very much. I could never forget the existence of someone I loved. Furthermore, your sister and mother talk of your brother, and have just done so with my siblings and me.”
    “I did not say I had forgotten him, Patience.” Mathew released her hand to rub his chest, but she beat him to it.
    “This is not right, this anguish you feel whenever you think of your brother or hear his name spoken. Can you not see this is causing you pain?
    “I have no idea what you are speaking of,” Mathew lied, closing his eyes as her hand soothed the pain inside him.
    “Yes, you do.”
    “It is easier to let his memory die.”
    Mathew opened his eyes and saw the sadness in her gaze.
    “It is not easier on you. In fact, I would go so far as to say you are suffering greatly by not grieving for your brother.”
    “Patience, please.” Mathew rested his hand over hers. “It is not a subject I wish to discuss with you or anyone.”
    “Talk to your mother and sisters, Mathew. Otherwise the grief will slowly destroy you,” she begged him.
    “No. This is the best way forward for me…for all of us.”
    “You owe Anthony more than that!”
    He felt his own anger rise. Speaking of his brother made him irrational and unbalanced; that was why he took every effort not to. “You have no idea what you are talking about. My brother is dead, so how can I possibly owe him anything?”
    His anger did nothing to deter her, as