The Accidental Life of Jessie Jefferson by Paige Toon Read Free Book Online

defensive, not in the slightest bit genuine.
    He turns a page over.
    ‘Fine.’ I go to the cupboard and pull out a mug to make myself a coffee – I could use one after last night. I slam it down on the counter and bang the cupboard door as I do so, just to make a point.
    My phone beeps. It’s a text from Natalie asking me if I want to go up to Winter Hill with them. I expect Stuart to snap when I ask him if I can go, but instead he says it’s fine.
    ‘Don’t you mind?’ I ask him.
    ‘You’re going to go, anyway, so why bother asking for my opinion?’ he calmly replies.
    I glare at him and walk out the door.
    Dougie picks me up in his banged-up Ford Fiesta. Aaron is in the front seat and Em and Natalie are in the back.
    ‘You’re still alive!’ Natalie jokes.
    ‘Just,’ I reply, still smarting from Stu’s reaction. I have a distinctly uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’d almost prefer him to be angry with me than give me the silent treatment.
    When I get home later, I pause for a minute in the front garden, staring down at the overgrown grass and tall dandelions with their fluffy white heads. Mum always used to make me wish upon them. One day, just to spite her, I wished out loud that she would tell me who my real dad was. I said it to hurt her, and from the pained look on her face, I know that it did. Now she’s gone, I’d do anything to take back every hurtful thing I ever said.
    I shove my key in the lock and walk in to a silent house.
    ‘Are you here?’ I call aloud to Stuart. No answer.
    I find him in the living room, staring at the wall.
    ‘What are you doing?’ I demand. He doesn’t answer. ‘For fuck’s sake, Stu, will you talk to me?’ I screech.
    ‘Watch your language!’ he shouts and I feel a strange surge of relief that I’ve finally got a reaction out of him.
    ‘You’re so useless!’ I let rip. ‘Do you know what a state this house looks? Why didn’t you help out more when Mum was alive? Why didn’t you ever mow the lawn? If Mum hadn’t had to race around here like a maniac on the day of my party, she might not have been killed!’
    His eyes are wide open, and when he speaks it’s with stunned horror. ‘Why are you always such a little—’ He stops himself and takes a deep breath.
    ‘Go on! Say it!’ I yell, tears filling my eyes. My next question comes out of nowhere. ‘Do you know who my real dad is?’
    His mouth abruptly shuts.
    ‘Do you?’ I ask again.
    He looks away from me and the blood drains away from my face. ‘Do you?’ I ask once more, this time with shock. I step around the coffee table and kneel in front of him. ‘Stuart?’ I ask, my pulse still racing. ‘Stu, please? Do you know?’
    He won’t meet my eyes.
    ‘I thought that when Mum died I’d never find out the truth . . . If you know, you have to tell me.’ Tears track silently down my cheeks as I stare at him, my last hope for my world’s biggest secret.
    Slowly, his eyes meet mine and I know that the answer is yes, he knows.
    ‘Please tell me,’ I beg, as the tears continue to stream relentlessly down my neck, soaking the rim of my T-shirt.
    He rubs his hands over his face in a frustrated, lost gesture, upsetting his horn-rimmed glasses. He takes them off and pushes his right hand through his hair, studying the glasses in his left. I wait in breathless silence. He shakes his head.
    ‘I don’t know, Jessie.’
    ‘Stu, please,’ I say again. ‘I need to know. It’s why I’ve been so . . . angry . . . I can’t move on, I can’t say goodbye to her. Not really. I’m so hurt and upset that she kept this from me. Please . . .’ There is a lump the size of a ping-pong ball inside my throat now. ‘I just want someone to be honest with me. I don’t care if he’s in jail. I’ll get over it if he’s dead. What could be worse than that?’
    He shakes his head. ‘He’s not in jail.’
    My breath catches and I freeze, staring at his face.
    ‘And he’s not dead,’ he