The After Girls by Leah Konen Read Free Book Online

But she wanted to talk about it. God, she wanted to talk about it. More than that, she wanted them to ask. Astrid would have asked.
    “So I guess you’re not going to ask about work?” she said, looking straight at Sydney. The shake was turning her hand icy, but she didn’t sip it. Not yet.
    Ben took another bite so he wouldn’t have to say anything. He wanted to stay out of this. Clearly.
    “Well you obviously want to talk about it,” Sydney said. “If you want to talk, talk.”
    “I want you to want to hear about it.” She was looking at both of them now.
    “El,” Sydney said, brushing her off. “Can we just have a moment — one freaking moment — that’s not about Astrid?”
    “Well I just spent a day that was all about her, so maybe you could show me a little understanding.”
    “What do you want me to do?” Sydney asked. “You chose to do that.” She looked to Ben for confirmation. “She’s the one who wanted to do it.”
    Ben held his hands up. “You two leave me out of it.”
    An anger started then, deep in her stomach. Ben was always such a diplomat. It wasn’t fair. “You know,” she said, staring right at him. “You really should take my side on this.”
    “Oh, lovely,” Sydney said, sarcasm oozing out of every word. “There are
sides
now.”
    “Yeah,” Ella snapped. “There are.”
    “I told you last night you should go to the party instead,” Sydney said. “I knew that going there would make things worse.”
    “Well I went,” Ella said. “And I’m going to go back. And you have to be there for me and listen to me, no matter what. That’s your job, Syd. You’re the only best friend I have left.”
    And she jumped out of the car and walked up to the trash can and threw her shake in as hard as she could, but it didn’t work like she wanted it to. The lid popped off, and little drops of the cool white goop sprayed her across the face. She whipped around, avoiding Ben and Sydney’s eyes, and she opened the passenger door and climbed in, slamming it shut behind her. She opened the glove box and began to ruffle through. There had to be some napkins in there somewhere.
    “Ella,” Sydney said, but she didn’t turn. “Ella.”
    She just kept looking, but it was already hard to see. The tears made her vision wavy. They came on strong and fast. In a moment, she was full-on crying. Not because of Sydney. Not because of Ben. Not even because of the look Grace gave her or the way every moment in the café had made Astrid’s absence feel even more real. She cried for all of it. She cried because things weren’t supposed to be this way. She cried because she had vanilla milkshake all over her face.
    She felt the car lift up and in a minute, Ben and Sydney had surrounded her.
    “Here,” Sydney said, pushing a wad of paper napkins in front of her. But Ella couldn’t stop. Her body shook now, and she felt Sydney’s arms tighten around her and Ben’s warm hand on her shoulder. And she shook and she shook until she couldn’t shake anymore and then her breath came in gasps, and she looked up and they were still there, still right there for her, and it felt so good to have them. Ella tried to calm her breathing as Sydney took her chin in her hand. Her eyes were intent on her face, and she patted the napkin underneath her eyes and then down her cheeks.
    “I’m sorry,” Sydney said. “I’m really sorry.”
    “It’s okay,” Ella said, her voice coming out so shaky it barely sounded like her.
    Sydney let her go, and Ben wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “I’m sorry too, babe,” he whispered in her ear. “Let me see,” he said, turning her face towards his. “Geez you’re a wreck.”
    “She always was a messy eater,” Sydney piped in from behind.
    “You still got a little, right there,” he said, and he leaned in and kissed the bottom of her lip. He felt warm and safe.
    Ben pulled back and made a face, scrunching up his nose. “Next time you get,