The Alchemy of Desire by Crista McHugh Read Free Book Online

your family at that age.”
    Diah paused and scrunched his brows together. “Yes and no. I missed my family, if that’s what you mean, but at the same time, it felt good to get out of Cager’s shadow. At times, I think my father was embarrassed that I wasn’t a Wielder, like I was some kind of accident. He kept expecting me to be like him and Cager. Besides, Professor Geary was a wonderful teacher and I discovered something I was good at.”
    “Surely your father must have been proud of you when he realized what a talented alchemist you’d become. Not many possess the skill to make black fire.”
    “I suppose he was.”
    “He never told you?”
    “My father wasn’t one to let his feelings be known.”
    An odd twinge pulled at her chest. She knew what it was like to be the odd child in the family, but she hesitated telling him that much. “Do you have a lab back home?”
    He handed her the next vial and tilted the flask to the side so it would be easier to draw the remaining black fire up into the pipette. “A small one. Not as big as I would like, but in order to have that, I would need to be a professor at a university.”
    “Why not become a professor?”
    “I was on track to become one, but my studies got interrupted.”
    “What happened?”
    “The war.” His expression hardened. “Professor Geary was well connected with the Union army, and my father was worried I might be enticed to that side. He dragged me home when Mississippi seceded.”
    “And were you?”
    Diah made a noise the sounded like a half laugh. “I had a huge argument with him and ran away to join the Union army. When I came back home, he’d passed away.”
    Oni’s heart ached for him, and she reached out to place her gloved hand over his. “I’m sorry to hear that. The war’s been over for seven years, though. Maybe you should think about resuming your studies.”
    He stared at her hand. “Someone needs to look after my mom and my sister, and Cager’s never been the stay-at-home type.” He withdrew his hand and resumed filling the last of the vials.
    She watched him silently. His guilt held him back from pursuing what he wanted. She doubted she could ever be capable of such self-sacrifice.
    Cager burst into the room as she placed the stopper into the last vial. “Damn jealous husbands!”
    Diah chuckled and began disassembling the apparatus. “Maybe if you stayed away from married women, you wouldn’t have to deal with them.”
    “It’s not my fault they throw themselves at me.” He hung his hat on a peg and loosened his tie. “I think I’m going to spend the rest of the night in here, if you don’t mind.” He looked at her and then back to his brother. “Unless you two would prefer to be alone.”
    Diah’s face reddened. “Oni was just helping me bottle the black fire.”
    As soon his back was to her, she snatched three vials and stuffed them in her pocket before she lost her nerve. There were so many on the table, she doubted they would miss them. Besides, they might prove useful to her later, if only to sell them for food money. She stood, eager to leave before they realized what she’d done. “If you want me to leave, I understand.”
    Cager waved her down. “No, please stay. No need to deprive Diah of your company, especially since he’s been talking nonstop about you since we left St. Joseph.”
    “Cager!” A flask slipped from Diah’s fingers, and he fumbled to catch it before it shattered on the floor.
    The flush crept through her body. Had he been talking about her in a good way or a bad way? Funny how he didn’t want her to know about it, though. Now she was curious to find out more about his feelings for her. When she caught his attention, she smiled.
    His mouth curled up to mirror hers before he looked away. “You know, we’d have a lot more room if you’d help me break this down and pack it away.” Oni moved to help him, but he shooed her away. “Not you, Oni. You’re our guest.”
    “But