The Arrangement 18 by H. M. Ward Read Free Book Online

with all my agony. I know what that feels like, and I know you do too.”
    Sean presses his lips to my temple slowly and softly. His strong arms wrap around me, holding me tightly. My heart beats faster and faster as the moments pass. He says nothing. I don’t know if I’ve guessed wrong, if only I feel that way and he doesn’t, or if he’s regretting this intimacy with me—but Sean's silence is unnerving. I could speak and break it, I could pass over it like the comments meant nothing, like they were meant in jest, but they weren’t.
    When I feel his lips part, I have no idea what he is going to say. “I don’t like admitting this part but I made a mistake, Avery. Some mistakes can’t be undone. I’ve been festering in anguish and blaming myself for Amanda, for losing everything that was important to me, for not being there for Peter, for bailing on Jon. I’ve lost them, Avery. And the thing is, I can’t bear to lose you too. Whenever that thought surfaces I raise my guard and push you away. It’s the only way I knew how to survive. No one’s come back, except you. I’ve never broken a promise to my mother before. I know it seems like a strange thing to say in the middle of a conversation when the most beautiful woman in the world is lying naked next to me, but I swore you’d be gone and here you are.”
    “So, how are you going to get rid of me? Because the box thing didn’t work.” I smile and shiver at the same time. Sean notices and rubs my arms chasing the chill away.
    “Well, I planned on arranging your marriage to someone I can’t stand to make sure we didn’t see too much of each other and to satisfy my mother, but the main reason I was doing it was to keep you safe.” Sean’s grip around my waist tightens. “Trystan's staff, his security team, is older than mine and less likely to have been tampered with by any of the Ferro’s. Unlike our security team that’s obviously been tampered with. That guy Bob, that mountain of a man that Trystan always has around, I know he can watch out for both of you in a way that I can’t. It seemed to me that his lifestyle would suit you better and that you would be better protected. As it is, I’m having to go back through all the employees that we’ve had to see which ones were tainted, and speculate who ruined them. My pilot for example, no one should have been able to corrupt him, but someone did. You’re safer with Trystan.”
    This part frightens me. He’s serious when he says these things, when he thinks he can marry me off as if that would solve everything. “I’m not marrying Trystan. If there’s a wedding, there’s only one man I want to marry and he’s behind me, holding me tight. Besides the man gunning for me is dead. You have the papers they want, so the power vacuum is gone. You won and we can be together. I’m not totally naïve Sean, I know what this means, what you are going to do. I’ve made decisions that I thought I would never make, and I did things that I thought I would never do, and all in the name of survival. If this is what you need to do to survive, I’m with you, and by your side.”
    I feel Sean move his jaw before he finally speaks. “You don’t know what you’re agreeing to, you don’t know what you’re offering. There are things that I can’t say within these walls, but would make your blood run cold. I’ve come back covered in blood, I’ve done things that I can’t confess, things that weigh heavily on my heart—things that have destroyed my soul. That’s not the life I want for you, but that is my life, this is my life, and there’s no way out.” Sean kisses the back of my neck before he pushes away.
    He swings his feet over the side of the mattress and stands up before walking over to one of the massive windows. He stands there for a moment and then pulls back the drapes. Sean stares through the glass at the moonlight and the tall cypress trees that line the front drive. The reflecting pools in