The Art of Control

The Art of Control by Ella Dominguez Read Free Book Online Page B

Book: The Art of Control by Ella Dominguez Read Free Book Online
Authors: Ella Dominguez
obsessively. A cool wet washcloth is draped over my bottom, keeping my pain at bay.
    “Hello, angel, ” Dylan says softly.
    His words remi nd me of my mother’s sweet nickname for me and my eyes wet with sadness. Dylan takes one look into my eyes and becomes distressed.
    “What is it? Did I hurt you too badly?” he asks sitting up on one elbow.
    “ No, it’s not that,” I assure him.
    His body immediately relaxes and he sighs. My sadistic husband has a soft side, too, and even though he likes to inflict pain on me, I know he would never hurt me beyond what I can handle. I move onto my side and the washcloth slides off my bottom. The rubbing of the soft linen sends embers of pain through the lower half of body and I cringe and involuntarily cry out.  Dylan’s body tenses up with my show of torment and he sighs heavily.
    “I t was too much for you,” he says sorrowfully.
    “No, sugar, I’ll be fine. My ass must look spectacular. I’d like to see what you’ve done to it,” I tell him.
    “It does look spectacular,” he says, looking pleased with himself.
    He’s been so earnest with me lat ely about his feelings, guilt overcomes me for not telling him what’s really been on my mind lately. I swore I wouldn’t keep anything from him and he deserves nothing less than the truth after I chastised him for not divulging completely to me when it came to his parents. I swallow hard and prepare myself.
    “Dylan, please don’t be angry with me,” I start out.
    “Why would I be angry?”
    Okay, h ere it goes. “I’ve been keeping something from you.”
    I can’t bring myself to look in to his loving, crystal blue eyes. He remains silent, but his breathing changes and I can sense his irritation with me. He continues to say nothing while I try to think of the words to say to him. I coax myself to look into his eyes and he looks a combination of hurt and annoyed.
    He finally asks, “Something good or something bad.”
    “I’ll let you decide that. But first, promise me that you won’t be angry with me,” I implore.
    He pauses and then answers, “I can’t promise you that, but I can promise that I’ll listen to you and hear your reasons for keeping it from me.”
    “I love you, Sir. Thank you. It’s about what happened with Alex and my father, and Cassie, too. I can’t seem to get over it. I thought I could. I thought I was doing okay, but…” I keep my eyes downcast and feel embarrassed at my own weakness.
    “But what?” he asks tenderly.
    “I can’t. I’m not getting any sleep and my dreams are tormented. What Alex did to me has brought everything back that my father put me through. There are things I had even forgotten about that have come back to me, awful things, Dylan. I thought I could just push it all to the back of my mind like I’ve done for so many years and I just can’t do it anymore.” My voice sounds foreign to me and it’s barely audible. Don’t cry, Isa. Do not cry, Isa!
    “Why did you think you couldn’t te ll me that?” Dylan asks, running his fingers through my hair.
    “I didn’t w ant to tell you because…” I’m not sure why I didn’t want to tell him . “Because I don’t want to be that girl.”
    I look up and Dylan looks confused but concerned.
    “What girl is that?”
    “T he girl who needs to be saved, the weak one, the girl who’s pathetic and needy. I want to be strong and independent for you. I want to be in control.” I sniff. “I just want to put everything that happened behind me. You have enough to worry about with your job and I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me, too. I don’t want to be a burden. I hate feeling helpless like this. I’m so sorry for bringing this up on our honeymoon. I wanted this time to be special, but your sweet words reminded me of my mother. It seems like everything reminds me of her lately and when I think of her, I think of my father and everything he did to us.” I hide my face in the bed,

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