The Artful Goddaughter by Melodie Campbell Read Free Book Online

up the phone and called Sammy.
    â€œHow do I get in touch with cousin Jimmy? You know, the old one who got sent down for burglary. He’s out of the clinker, right?” I was pretty sure there had been a party for him a couple of years ago. I’d probably skipped it—one of those phases when I was determined to throw off the family connection.
    Like that worked.
    â€œJimmy the Cat? He’s living at Holy Cannoli Retirement Villa now. But tonight is his pole-cat night, and he won’t want to be disturbed.”
    â€œWhat are you talking about?” Jimmy didn’t do jobs anymore. I knew that. His walker got in the way.
    Sammy sighed. “You know your great-aunt Rita started that group—Speed Dating for Geezers? They meet the first Thursday of every month at the Bing-Bong Room. You know, the nightclub downtown that plays big-band music. Jimmy never misses.”
    â€œSpeed Dating for Geezers??” First I’d heard of it.
    â€œYeah, well the real name is the Last Chance Club,” Sammy said. “I just call it that. It’s been a huge success. Who woulda guessed? Of course, they’re all batty. Nobody can remember who they’ve been with before, so it’s like the first time every night.”
    I choked. “A dating club for the nursing-home set?”
    I tried to think of a bunch of old men and ladies getting tangled up with their walkers.
    I shook my head. It wasn’t working for me.
    â€œYeah, that little blue pill has a lot to answer for,” said Sammy.
    Now it really wasn’t working for me. Holy cannoli, the thought of Last Chance wizened wieners…YIKES.
    â€œWatcha want him for, doll?”
    Okay, now it was time to fudge.
    â€œI’m pretty sure I don’t anymore,” I said with a shiver. “The creep factor is out of hand.”
    Sammy was chuckling as I clicked off the phone.
    Next, I called Nico. “I think we’re in business.” I explained what I needed him to do.
    â€œNo problem,” said Nico. “I’ll phone the retirement home. Jimmy and I are tight. He was my mentor before he went in.”
    I should have guessed.
    â€œHow many do you need for this?”
    â€œTry for seven,” I said. “I think the van holds ten. We both need a seat.”
    â€œI’ll arrange the whole thing, Gina. Call you back.” He rang off.
    A short time later, the phone sang “Shut Up and Drive.”
    â€œAll set,” said Nico. “Here’s what I arranged.”
    I listened for a while. Then he stopped talking, and I gave him the necessary details.
    â€œLeave the bird at home,” I said.
    â€œNo kidding. See you later.”
    Finally, I called Pete.
    â€œDo you mind doing without me tonight? I have to help out with the Last Chance Club.”
    Silence. I could almost hear the gears in Pete’s mind working. “Tell me this isn’t anything to do with the family business.”
    Oh yeah. Last Chance. I got it.
    I swallowed. Then laughed. I hoped it didn’t sound too nervous. “It’s a dating club for the retirement home. Speed dating for geezers.”
    â€œSpeed dating for—”
    â€œMy great-aunt Rita runs it. None of the old dears have their licenses anymore. I offered to drive them to the Bing Bong Room tonight in the Cannot Hotel.”
    That was me, the Good Samaritan. It was a nice story. Hey, it was almost true.
    â€œThe Bing Bong Room. You’re making this up.” The words were scolding. But I could tell Pete was smiling.
    â€œAm not! They play big-band music there once a week. It’s kinda fun. We should go sometime.” But not tonight.
    Pete laughed. “Have to pass for now. Got a game. But you have a good time, babe.”
    Oh, I was going to have a brilliant time. Me and my seven heavy dates.

NINE
    O ne thing about growing up in this family: you learn how to drive all sorts of vehicles. A lot of my godfather’s