The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas by Robin Harvie Read Free Book Online

Potter Everson and Ellen Nordberg. Even Doris Keeling retreated, and she could tolerate almost anything: her husband had been having an open affair with a goat for thirty years. One by one, the faculty and staff filtered away until only Flip Anderson remained.
    Quietly Nathan asked, “Flip, do you really believe there’s no chance that God exists?”
    “Well, he sure don’t keep the chlorine levels straight,” Flip replied. Then he walked away, leaving Nathan alone.
    At Hi Life, on Eighty-third and Amsterdam, Nathan related the story to his friend, Lou Pinto, an eastern gray kangaroo whom Nathan had met several years earlier at a Bikram yoga class. Nathan hadn’t stuck with it—the moist heat aggravated his sinuses—but Lou had, which was ironic in a way, because he had a bit of a temper and, generally speaking, didn’t seem the yogic type. Nevertheless, he was now enviably flexible.
    Lou lived all the way up in Morningside Heights, but he was always happy to go out for a drink. He didn’t sleep much, and besides, it was Christmas Eve. The Hi Life patrons were dudded up in festive reds and greens with floppy Santa Claus hats hanging from their heads, drinks in their hands, and cheeks aglow. The room was abuzz, abounded in good holiday cheer, which had affected everyone—everyone, that is, except for Nathan Townsend. Lou Pinto noticed as soon as he hopped in.
    “Who died?” he asked. “You look like someone killed Santa Claus.”
    Nathan told him what happened.
    “That’s too bad,” Lou said with obvious sincerity. Lou was a good and patient listener. “Why do you think you said it?” he asked. “Was it the nog?”
    “Maybe,” Nathan said, “But I really think it was that Potter Everson. Something about him always throws me off.”
    Lou nodded. “What do you think is going to happen to you?”
    “Nothing, I suppose.”
    “You have tenure, after all.”
    “True.”
    “So why are you beating yourself up about it?”
    Nathan sighed. “I’m jealous,” he said. “I look at my colleagues at the school with envy. They have conviction about things, about what’s right and wrong, and the ultimate direction and meaning of life. It gives them a sense of purpose and certainty. Perhaps it’s smug on their part. I don’t know. Call it what you will, but it seems like a happier life they have.”
    “You can have that life too,” Lou said.
    Nathan’s face revealed his inner turmoil. “It isn’t as easy as that.”
    “Why not, brother?”
    “I have doubts! I have such doubts!” Nathan said. “I look around me and what I see fills me with awe. In this city are animals of every kind, living together. I read about mountains that touch the sky and volcanoes miles under the sea. Soaring birds, glorious plants, fish of every size, shape, and color imaginable. Such wondrous life! Could it truly be all random? Perhaps, but can anyone be sure?” He look at up from his drink and faced Lou. “Don’t you ever have doubt?”
    This was a bad question. Lou’s father had been grossly abusive. If he failed to clean his room or talked out of turn, his father would box him, often in public. Years of therapy and tantric meditation had helped Lou release the anger, but he had no uncertainty about the absence of God.
    “No,” Lou said.
    “How can it be that easy for you?”
    “It’s just a matter of faith,” Lou said.
    Nathan nodded. “If only I could make the leap,” he said.
    Lou smiled. “We’ve both probably had enough to drink,” he said. “How about I walk you home?”
    “It’s all the way on the East Side, completely out of your way.”
    “What are friends for?”
    Lou was a good one. He even pulled his wallet from his pouch and picked up the tab.
    The Central Park Reservoir can be spectacular on a winter evening. In the cold crisp air, the lights of the New York skyline reflect off the water. It is a sight without parallel in the great cities of the world, and that evening was as fine as any