sense to injure the person he wanted to perform the rituals, but he’d definitely manipulated his way into her home, something he’d expected when he first arrived. On the other hand, he’d saved her from Tír na nÓg without hesitation and swore to protect her and her children before the Goddess.
It’s simply because he can’t have a dead witch to perform the rituals.
She couldn’t argue the point, but her gratitude for his help remained. And he continued to help even now.
Sabrina worried the debate back and forth until Darius returned carrying a tray with her favorite tea set and a little bowl. He set the tray on the chair and helped her sit up higher on the bed.
“How is your head feeling now?”
“Better. Tender near the gash.”
“It will be for a few more hours.”
“Hours? Not ‘days?’” She flattened the covers over her lap and Darius set the tray on the flat space.
He gave her a funny look . “I expect you to heal yourself faster given all your obvious ability. Besides, we don’t have days before the Summer Court arrives. You must be ready for Beltane.”
Sabrina sighed and set down her cup. “You just don’t get it, Darius. I’m not doing the rituals. For one thing, my head isn’t going to just miraculously heal in time. And for another, there’s no suitable male counterpart for the full rituals. ” Tommy’s betrayal burned brightly for a moment, but she shoved it aside. “Most of the men around here are either married or don’t follow the Goddess’s path, and I draw the line well before any of those options.”
“The Summer Queen will find a suitable male to imperso nate the May Lord, Sabrina. The only thing required of you is to be the May Lady.”
“No. I’m done with the High Beltane rituals.” She leaned back and closed her eyes. “We’re just going to do our usual. Light the fire, give it our offerings, and wind the little May Pole in our backyard. It’ll have to do for the Goddess this year.”
“It’s not the Goddess who insists, but the Summer Queen.” Darius clenched his jaw. “You don’t understand. Once this honor is given, it cannot be revoked. You’ve been chosen for the rituals.”
“And you don’t understand. Unlike you, I don’t live in the world of the Sidhe. I live in this one and after the Summer Court leaves, I’m going to have to deal with the consequences, not the least of which will be some of my neighbors. You saw what Marty and the others think of an unwed mother. I’m not getting married just to appease them, but I won’t chance another pregnancy just to satisfy the Elves.”
“Children are a blessing.”
“Yes, they are, but those blessings take a lot of time, effort, and attention, and I only have so much I can give. I already have two blessings and they’re enough for me to take care of on my own.” Sabrina stopped, frustration and pain making her head throb. “Look, Darius, I appreciate the vote of confidence from the Summer Court, but I’m not the witch for the job. You’ll just have to find someone else or go elsewhere.”
She set the tray away from her body on the unused side of the bed. “I’m tired. I’ll talk with you more about it tomorrow. Please turn off the light when you leave.” She rolled onto her side with her back to the door.
She hated letting anyone down, but she’d made a decision after Tommy left. She’d live quietly, celebrate simply, and take care of her children honorably. Bitter experience taught her men remained undependable and the only one riding a white horse and saving her was her. Darius didn’t really need Sabrina Foxglove to do the rituals. Any witch who followed the sacred ways of the Goddess would do.
I’m sure Merrilee Fuckstwice would b e happy to perform them.
Anger, pain, and loneliness mixed into a bitter brew and crashed over her. Tears squeezed out of her eyes. No matter what, she wouldn’t give in to more pain and humiliation.
****
Darius closed the door to
Learning to Kill: Stories