The Black Moth by Georgette Heyer Read Free Book Online Page B

tell the truth. I believe I shall go crazed an I do not."
    "Dick!". . . She dropped the flowers on the floor and thought no more about them. "Dick!"
    "Oh, you need have no fear! I do not suppose," bitterly, "that I have the courage to face them all now–after six years."
    Lavinia moved restlessly, brushing her hand along the couch.
    "You will not do it, Richard? Promise! You will not? I could not bear the disgrace of it; promise me you will never do it?"
    "No," he said slowly, not looking at her. "No, I cannot promise that."
    She sprang to her feet, flinging her broidery from her carelessly, and waved fierce, agitated little hands.
    "That means you will do it. You want to disgrace me! You do not care how you hurt me by holding this threat over my head so cruelly! You—"
    "Lavinia, for heaven's sake!" he implored, pushing back his chair. "Calm yourself!" He knew she was about to fly into one of her sudden passions, and frowned with acute vexation.
    "I will not! Oh yes, yes! You think me a shrew! I know! I know! But you need not frown on me, sir, for you are worse! No, I will not hush. I am a horrid woman, yes, but you are a cheat–a cheat–a cheat!"
    Carstares strode over to her.
    "Lavinia!"
    "No–no! Leave me alone! You make me miserable! You refuse me everything that I want most, and then you threaten to disgrace me–"
    "That is untrue!" cried Richard, goaded into replying. "I will not promise, that is all. What have I refused you that was within my means to give you? God knows you try your best to ruin me–"
    "There! There! 'Tis I who am to blame! Pray did you not induce my lord to leave his money to John when you knew he would have willed it all to you an you had kept silence? You took no thought to me–"
    "For heaven's sake, Lavinia, be still! You do not know what you are saying!"
    She pressed her hands to her hot cheeks.
    "No–I am unreasonable! I know it, but don't tell me so, for I cannot bear it! And don't look reproach at me, Richard! You drive me mad, I tell you! She was sweeping up and down the room like some caged animal, lashing herself to a worse fury.
    "Say something, Richard! Do something! Don't stand there so quietly! Oh, you should never have married me! I displease you, and you make me worse; and you do not see how 'tis that I cannot live without pleasure, and money! I am despicable? Yes, yes, but what are you? Oh, why did you tell me you cheated after you had wedded me?" Angry sobs escaped her; her handkerchief was in shreds upon the floor.
    Carstares turned his back to her, that she might not see how she had contrived to hurt him, and the movement drove her to fresh fury.
    "Don't do that! Don't! Don't! You make me worse by your dreadful silence! Oh, if you really loved me!"
    "You cannot doubt that!" he cried out, wheeling suddenly round. "You know how I love you! Don't you?" He gripped her by the shoulders and swung her to face him.
    She trembled and gave a sobbing little laugh. As suddenly as it had come, her anger left her.
    "Oh, yes, yes! You do love me, Dicky?" She twined her arms about his neck and shrank closer.
    "God help me, yes!" he groaned, thrusting her away. "And you–you care for no one save yourself!"
    "No! No!" she cried, pressing up to him again. "Do not say that, Dick. Indeed, I love you, but I cannot live without gaiety–you know I cannot. Oh, I do not doubt but what I am very selfish, but 'tis the way I am fashioned, and I cannot change my nature. And now I have hurt you, and I did not mean to! I did not mean to!"
    "My dear, I know you did not; but try to be less a child, I beg of you! You are so uncontrolled, so–"
    "I knew you would say that," she answered in a dead voice. "You do not understand me. You expect me to be good, and patient, and forbearing, and I tell you 'tis not in my nature."
    "But, Lavinia, you can control your passions," he said gently.
    "No! I cannot! We Belmanoirs–as God made us, so we are–and He made us spendthrift, and pleasure-loving, and mad!"