a publisher?”
“That is indeed what I mean to tell you.”
This time her gaze is a long sweep of my person, as if—my heart leaps so high it crashes into the roof of my mouth—she might indeed be reconsidering her opinion of me. “Your word, Lord Larkspear?”
“You have my word, Lady Larkspear.”
“September, then,” she says. “September was—or is—our projected launch date. Tomorrow I will write Mrs. Donovan and my secretary to let them know everything will proceed according to the original plan.”
A glorious warmth permeates my chest, as if I have been entrusted with the map that leads to the Fountain of Youth. “I am sure you do not need it, but if I can be of any assistance, be sure to let me know.”
She pierces a piece of lobster with her fork, puts it in her mouth, and chews meditatively. When she finishes with that particular morsel, she says, “I will consider it.”
And that is as marvelous an answer as I can expect, under the circumstances.
F OR THE REMAINDER OF DINNER our conversation revolves around her family. It isn’t a sparkling exchange, not a single bon mot tossed about. In fact, by any other standards, it is a remarkably mundane discussion: her sister’s new place in the country, her sister-in-law’s gardens, her brother’s annual shooting party, coming up in a few weeks.
But for me, it is a startlingly novel experience, as what passes for mundane between
us
is my insulting her looks or her publishing endeavors while deploying a dirty leer, and her systematic verbal destruction of my manhood in response.
I desperately, desperately do not want dinner to end. But like all good things, end it eventually does. She rises and departs, and I am left behind with a gentleman’s customary glass of port and cigar, in neither of which I have the remotest interest.
I fiddle with both until a seemly amount of time has passed; then I vacate the dining room with the speed of Grisham dashing out the front door when he has been cooped up inside too long.
She is still being attended to by her maid when I let myself into her room. Our eyes meet in the vanity mirror. I am not sure what she sees in my face—too much hope, eagerness, or familiarity? Her hand tightens on the lapels of her lustrous blue silk dressing robe.
“You may retire,” she instructs her maid.
The maid curtsies and departs, closing the door soundlessly behind herself.
“You could have stayed for port and cigars,” I tell her. “I would not have been scandalized.”
She smiles. No, the corners of her lips move upward, but it is no more a smile than fool’s gold is treasure. I feel my face becoming rigid, the boyish enthusiasm that has made me almost hoppingly excited for this night draining away like blood from a gaping wound.
“Do you have that blindfold you promised me?” she asks, her voice as unruffled as the Dead Sea.
As she speaks, I notice my sketch of her photograph on the vanity. I almost burst with relief, until she rises, the sketch in hand, and tosses it the fire.
It is swallowed by the flame in no time at all.
She turns around, that cold not-quite-smile still about her lips. “My blindfold?” she reminds me.
“Of course,” I say stiffly. “If you will give me a moment.”
When I reach my dressing room, I brace my hand on the nearest chest of drawers and breathe hard, my heart churning with both anger and anguish.
This is why you should never let your guard down
, screams a voice in my head.
This is why!
She had no choice but to be nice to you at dinner, don’t you see? The servants were there.
You have been too nasty to her for too long. Her opinion of you is set in stone. It’s too late to change anything. No point trying anymore. Just fuck her as much as you want—that’s all you can salvage from this marriage.
And then, from the din in my head emerges a tiny, diffident voice.
Have you considered that perhaps she is even more frightened than you are? You have always been more
Douglas Preston, Lincoln Child
Etgar Keret, Ramsey Campbell, Hanif Kureishi, Christopher Priest, Jane Rogers, A.S. Byatt, Matthew Holness, Adam Marek
Saxon Andrew, Derek Chido