The Brothers Crunk by William Pauley III Read Free Book Online Page A

Vandenboom, eh?” a serpenty voice calls from somewhere in the dark. A small Japanese man, draped in dirty rags and covered with filth, steps out of the darkness and into the moonlight. “You the folks on the television tonight, yes?”
     
    The ostrich jumps back at the sight of him. Reynold reaches his hand behind his back as if reaching for a weapon, even though he is unarmed.
     
    “ Back off, old man!” yells Reynold.
     
    “ Heh heh, do your worst.”
     
    Reynold tenses up the muscles in his arm, as if clinching his ‘weapon’ makes the threat any more believable.
     
    “ Why are you looking for Vandenboom?” the old man asks.
     
    “ Depends on who is asking.”
     
    “ I am asking.”
     
    “ But who are you?”
     
    “ Who are you ?”
     
    Reynold rolls his eye. “He’s got my brother.”
     
    “ Kidnap? It’s not like Vandenboom to kidnap.”
     
    “ No not kidn— Wait! You know Vandenboom?” Reynold steps down off the ostrich.
     
    “ Oh yes, there are not many in Tokyo who do not. Ever since the explosion . . .”
     
    “ Explosion? What explosion?”
     
    “ The old Blitzkrieg factory. Him and his Damned Dirt Devils leveled it. Since then it has been swallowed up by earth. But that was decades ago. After Dethbryte found out about the explosion—”
     
    “ Dethbryte?” Reynold interrupts.
     
    “ She is the head of Blitzkrieg Industries. One bad mamma-jamma. If she’s pissed, then everyone in the range of one hundred miles knows it. Blitzkrieg manufactures war puppets, monsters. You see, Vandenboom blew up Blitzkrieg for personal reasons. Because they manufactured him . . . him and his Damned Dirt Devils. They made hundreds of these war puppets, but something went wrong with this batch—something that made them become self-aware. They instantly rebelled against Dethbryte and Blitzkrieg resulting in a battle that lasted for many years, ending with the destruction of the Blitzkrieg building. Dethbryte soon had her revenge, though. Just a few hours after the explosion, she captured Vandenboom and his Damned Dirt Devils, stripped their lifeforce from their bodies, and sent them off to God-knows-where trapped in little television sets.”
     
    “ Well, now it makes sense why he didn’t bother with killin’ us, eh, Petey?” Reynold says.
     
    The old man looks around to see who Reynold is talking to, slightly confused.
     
    “ So, do you have any idea where we might be able to catch Vandenboom then?” Reynold asks the old man.
     
    “ Well, if he still has bad blood with Dethbryte, I’d say he’s headed toward THE BLITZ—the new Blitzkrieg building.”
     
    “ And where is that exactly?”
     
    “ You can’t miss it. It’s the tallest building in all of Tokyo. You can see it from anywhere.”
     
    Reynold eyes the skyline and quickly spots it. “Well, I’m truly grateful, sir. And I don’t mean to be rude, but we’ve really got to get a move on if we’re gonna catch up to ’em.”
     
    The old man bows and holds out his palm. Reynold is a bit confused by this. Finally, the old man clears his throat and rotates his thumb against the underside of his fingers.
     
    “ Oh, I guess you’re lookin’ for some sort of payment, eh? Well, I’m fresh out of cash at the moment . . .” Reynold says, reaching into the fishing net, “but I can pay you in meat.”
     
    “ What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Reynold!” Pete yells. Reynold digs until he finds a moderately-sized slab of Pete that isn’t too dried out. “Hey, fuck you, man! Your brother wouldn’t have treated me this way!”
     
    “ Whose idea do you think it was to chop you up in the first place, eh?” Reynold yells back at him. Pete gets quiet. “Divey, that’s who! I didn’t want anything to do with it, but I didn’t really have a choice, now did I?”
     
    Pete remains quiet.
     
    “ Now, mention my brother one more facking time, Pete! I dare you!”
     
    The old man is frightened by