The Busconductor Hines by James Kelman Read Free Book Online Page A

then; my maw and da’d be delighted.
    They prefer it when you come.
    He shrugged.
    I might do.
    It’d be good if you did actually – a while since we’ve seen them.
    Sandra nodded. You better be going.
    Aye . . . He leaned to kiss her again.

2
    Holding Sandra by the elbow he pushed a way through the crowded lounge bar, passing directly in front of the raised platform upon which the entertainment would take place. In a sort of alcove to the far side Reilly was sitting with McCulloch and Colin, and two other men; at a table adjacent to theirs sat Isobel with McCulloch’s wife and Colin’s fiancée, and two other women. Sandra noticed and he whispered, Sorry . . . she didnt reply. I’ll try and get it sorted out, he muttered. He watched her go to the empty seat at the women’s table and then sat down on the one the men had kept for him. The other two men were introduced as Stewart and Donnie; both were drivers, operating out of a garage on the south side of the city.
    McCulloch was in charge of the kitty; when the waitress eventually appeared Hines passed him the £5 and called to Sandra: Brandy and champagne Mrs Hines?
    She smiled. The other women were involved in conversation.
    Naw, he said to the waitress, a martini and lemonade – dry. And a pint of heavy. The others had just ordered a round. Hines winked at Sandra then he brought out the tin.
    Eh Rab? McCulloch was attracting his attention, the other four glancing at him. A guy called Farquhar, a driver? You must mind him surely! smashed two buses on his first day out on the road?
    First week, added Reilly. Conductors used to sign off sick when they knew they were on with him.
    Aw aye, aye. Hines yawned. He grinned suddenly at Colin. Great being on with him man, a shift went by in a matter of moments; no kidding you . . . He stopped, looked from Colin to Reilly.
    Naw, said one of the two other men, I was just saying there, he’s dead – a head-on out near Rutherglen.
    Taxi, said McCulloch.
    Private-hire, went on the man. Cortina I think he was driving – he wasnt carrying any punters at the time.
    Hines shook his head.
    How long since he chucked the buses? said Reilly.
    Och a good while, the other man replied.
    Terrible, muttered Hines.
    Aye, never knew what hit him.
    Killed instantly.
    Aye, we’ve all got to go. The man raised his beer and sipped at it. I could think of better ways right enough.
    Well at least he never knew. Reilly said: Imagine lingering on a vegetable or something?
    Hh; at least it’s better than being dead.
    Come off it Rab!
    Naw I mean, what happens if they come up with a new wonder drug? the day after they’ve cremated you? Fuck sake.
    Aye, said one of the men.
    Where there’s life etcetera. Hines drank a mouthful of beer. He gave a vague toast: It’s alright for you christians but what about the rest of us man? no after-life or fuck all.
    True, said Colin Brown. End of story.
    Reilly shrugged.
    But a vegetable . . . added one of the men; his nose wrinkled; he reached for his drink.
    See yous mob! McCulloch smiled and leaned back on his seat. What a conversation! To the two other men he said: That’s what happens when you go for a night out with the cunts in this garage!
    Ach I dont know though George, I like a good discussion.
    Makes you thirsty but, added his mate with a grin.
    Aye. Come on George, you’re supposed to be organising the bevy.
    I’m getting put off with yous mob . . . He stretched over to the next table to get the women’s order.
    On the platform the two entertainers in red trousers, tartan waistcoats and red bowties, singing a song and accompanying themselves on accordion and rhythm guitar. At the next table Sandra was smiling at something being said by McCulloch’s wife; and she smiled at Hines when she noticed him watching. He prised the lid off the tin. The waitress had arrived again, her face perspired; quickly she transferred the drinks