The Cat's Job by Steve Miller, Sharon Lee and Steve Miller Read Free Book Online Page B

cha'trez."
    "I bought the hyatt."
    "So? Did you fire the
manager?"
    She grinned. "Naw. I thought about it.
Then I thought that one of the changes I'll be making is to open up
a wing especially for mercenaries. Figured I'd put him in charge of
that."
    "Not too bad a notion," conceded her
husband, curling closer and nestling his cheek against her hair.
"I'm sure he'll learn quite rapidly."
    * * *
    Kinzel stretched and smiled at the
setting Moon. Cats, curious about surroundings, about sounds, about
glitters and gleamings in the pre-dawn sky, had wandered off, by
ones, twos and sevens. His staff purred contentedly in his
hand.
    From the west, a breeze arose, telling
tales of the ocean, hinting of the further shore; of dragons,
perhaps, or of a King reunited with his Queen.
    Kinzel smiled and stepped out --
westward, for lack of a reason to walk in another direction, and
whistling.
    All was Right with the
world.

 

     
10th Life
A Column
     
In Search of Feline
Personality
by Archibald M. McGee
Assistant Director, IFPER
     
    In almost every society devised by
human beings there is an emphasis on position. The relationship of
one individual to another and to society at large is very carefully
calibrated; rank has some prerogatives not allowed those without
rank.
    One of the most curious attempts at
ranking is the invention of the Western mind. I don't mean the
rather obvious ranks of military designations: those have
equivalents everywhere.
    The invention I'm thinking of came
about in the mid to late 1880s as a tool of the psychologist and
later were refined more and more until today they are seen by the
mass of humanity (at least in the Western world) as a real measure
of potential importance. Yes, the invention is the measurement of
Intellectual Quotient. The device is the I.Q. Test.
    The funny thing is that man is not
content to rank himself within his group, but then must also rank
himself in relation to the other creatures abounding in this world
of ours.
    So, having proven that one man or
woman may have more of whatever it is that I.Q. Tests measure than
another, scientists proceeded to use the tests, in varying forms,
on animals.
    Thus we discover that young
chimpanzees have an I.Q. quite on the same order as that of young
humans. Also, we find that dolphins may (or may not) be at least as
bright as an average man, or that a horse is somewhat smarter than
an elephant and somewhat less smart than say, a chimp.
    Assigning ranks of importance can give
a professor something to do, but it doesn't work in the real world,
especially not for tests developed through college students silly
enough to get themselves into the testing rooms of the
universities. Although there may be some utility to I.Q. tests,
what they are not good for is measuring the relative abilities of a
small full grown cat and a small child. Apples and oranges, the old
math reminder, is appropriate here.
    Cats are our concern in this column.
Of all the creatures man has attempted to measure, cats may be both
the most appealing and the most unwilling to cooperate. While the
cat is probably the most alien intelligence on the face of the
earth after the dolphin, the cat at least shares the same
environment!
    What we are proposing is an anecdotal
base for the start of real research into communicating with cats on
a reasonable basis. Most people who have lived with cats have run
into the cat's disconcerting ability to put across a viewpoint. A
cat will complain if ignored or leave the area if it wishes not to
be bothered. It will tell you quite loudly if it needs food, or if
the litter pan needs to be cleaned. Cat also show a remarkable
ability to learn things. They can open closets, turn doorknobs,
learn schedules, work together cooperatively, become accustomed to
a wide range of habitats, and discover the place a person will step
next and occupy it first. These are wondrous things.
    These wondrous things probably break
down into groups of behaviors that could be