Shooting for the Stars by R. G. Belsky Read Free Book Online

was definitely an upgrade for me though. I had a doorman. I had a concierge. I even had a health club and swimming pool in the building. Plus, I was on the thirty-sixth floor, which meant the sounds of the street were no longer a problem. It cost a lot more for me in rent. But I was determined to change my life for the better. This apartment . . . well, it was a start.
    I pushed open the door now and went in.
    â€œHi, honey, I’m home,” I said.
    There was no answer, of course. No loving wife waiting for me after a hard day at work with a martini and a pair of slippers. No kids running into my arms. Not even a dog or a cat to lick my face. It had taken me a while to get used to living alone after my breakup with Susan. But I had almost come to grips with it now. Almost.
    The truth is that when I’d taken the apartment my goal was to one day win Susan back, get her to move back in and marry me again. Well, that’s still my long-term goal. The short-term goal is just to get her to take my phone calls and speak to me again. Baby steps. You have to crawl before you can walk.
    You see, there’d been an unfortunate incident between us recently.
    I was feeling lonely late one night and I called Susan. I told her how much I missed her. How much I needed her. And how much I loved her. I believe I proposed to her over the phone that night. In fact, I proposed to her several times during that ill-fated conversation, as I recall.
    Then, from somewhere in the background, I heard the sound of a man’s voice.
    â€œSusan, honey, are you coming back to bed?” the male voice said.
    â€œI’ll be right there,” she told him.
    She came back on the line to me.
    â€œWho is he?” I asked.
    â€œThat’s none of your business, Gil.”
    â€œSure it is.”
    â€œI don’t quiz you about the women in your life, Gil.”
    â€œI don’t have any women in my life except you.”
    â€œLook, you have no right to . . .”
    â€œI’m your husband, goddammit.”
    â€œEx-husband.”
    â€œYou and I both know we’re going to wind up together again. It’s just a matter of time until that happens.”
    â€œWhy do you keep saying that?”
    â€œBecause it’s true.”
    â€œI gotta go . . .”
    â€œI love you, Susan,” I blurted out.
    She didn’t say anything.
    â€œThe appropriate response is to say, ‘I love you too,’ ” I told her.
    â€œLet’s not do this anymore, Gil.”
    â€œJust tell me you love me. I want to hear it. I don’t care if that asshole you’re with hears it too.”
    Things went rapidly downhill from there. After she refused to give me the “I love you” return, I erupted into a tirade of jealous and righteous anger over what I described as her betrayal of me. I said a number of things during that conversation that I wished later I could take back. I had done that in the past when I was afraid I was losing her to someone else, and I had promised myself I would never let it happen again. But the thought of her being in bed with that other man made me so crazy that I just couldn’t control myself.
    â€œPlease don’t call here again,” she said when I was finished.
    Then she hung up.
    Since then, she had remained incommunicado to me no matter how many times I reached out to try to repair the damage I’d done.
    I walked into the kitchen, took a bottle of beer from the refrigerator, and brought it back to the living room. I picked up the remote and clicked on the TV. There was a Gilligan’s Island marathon on one of the cable channels. Gilligan and the Skipper and the Professor were trying to build a ship out of coconuts or something to get off the island. As you can tell, it was a pretty sophisticated plot, so I did my best to concentrate and keep up with it.
    Which was good because it stopped me from thinking about allthe things I