darkness and Kane’s absence. I felt rebellious and peered out the front room window to make sure Kane left. The street, dark and eerily quiet, without any signs of life so I walked through the kitchen. I reached for the doorknob and opened the door, the barrier that kept me from the outside for way too long.
I stepped over the threshold for the first time since September and pulled the door closed behind me as I stood on the back porch. My back pressed against the door. Almost afraid to take the first step away from the house, I hesitated, the crisp air rushed through my lungs as I drew in a deep breath. The beat of my heart quickened in my chest, exhilarated and anxious at the same time, anticipating my punishment if Kane caught me. I didn’t care.
Jittery nerves buzzed inside me, no less tormenting than if I stood over a cliff, contemplating a jump into the unknown. I took the first step. Then another and walked towards the barn. An uncontainable smile swept across my face, a surge of energy and new strength entered me with each breath, awakened by the cool brushes of the breeze on my cheeks. A flood of tears welled in my eyes and I wiped them away with a sigh.
The barn doors creaked as I pulled them open, just enough for me to slip inside and close them behind me. I lit the old kerosene lantern that hung from a hook against the wall. The pale golden ribbon of light filtered dimly through the dark dusty barn, my favorite place, second only to the lake. I closed my eyes and breathed in the familiar sweet scent of alfalfa and golden straw mingled with the earthy smell of horses and dirt.
I rested my arms against the old wooden boards that made Fire’s corral. She nickered at me and I rubbed her nose. Her black coat long and shaggy still from winter, but started to shed in patches. Already the middle of April, summer would come soon. I looked forward to it. Spent far too much time away from her. She pawed and pranced around the small twelve by fifteen stall, antsy to get out.
“Trey is supposed to be doing this.”
My heart shot through my chest. I whirled around wide eyed as Kane startled me. He closed the barn door behind him, his jaw tightened as he walked towards me. His eyes flashed angrily with his brow tensed and I waited for his reproach.
“I needed to Kane, I’m sorry… I waited until it got dark.” My eyes pleaded with his and I watched his glare soften slightly.
“Need some help?”
“Uhh,” I hesitated, confused by the polar shift from his usual inflexibility. “Sure.”
He grabbed a one hundred pound bale of hay and tossed it over to the stalls like it was nothing, and then a second one with equal ease. A dusting of small confetti-like alfalfa leaves puffed into the air as they hit the ground. The taut bailing twine snapped as he cut it with his pocketknife and the bails fell loosely apart. I grabbed a flake of hay and threw it in Fire’s stall. I watched Kane as he helped me pass the hay to the six other horses. His arms curled, flexing his biceps and I noticed how big his arms looked compared to mine. I hadn’t really noticed before, how more like a man, my brother had become. I guess he was out of his teens by two years but I’d never thought of him as an adult until suddenly just now.
“Can I go to town for my birthday? It was last week.”
He looked up. His eyes filled instantly with regret, then irritation by my request. “No,” he snapped. His answer came way to quick.
“Why?”
“Where exactly do you want to go? Marge’s is the only store in this town. If you want to go to the city, the answer is no.”
“I would be fine just going to Marge’s, was her store destroyed?”
“No, it was vandalized but we’ve repaired most of it and she’s opened it up for trading. Little Creek doesn’t look too bad anymore, from the outside. People vandalized abandoned homes and tore them apart looking for stuff, but it’s the city that’s a mess.”
“What is the city