The Day the Ear Fell Off by T.M. Alexander Read Free Book Online Page A

them) too. She probably can’t remember our real ones.
    Mr Morris ran up the stairs and we were left with the Head.
    ‘Right, Bee. Do you have anything you’d like to tell me?’
    Bee pushed her fringe out of her eyes and opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
    ‘Shall I give you a hint?’
    Bee did a big swallow that made her neck look like a turkey’s and said, ‘Yes, please.’
    ‘Let’s see . . . It’s most often grey, we use it all the time . . .’
    Bee looked frozen with terror. So the Head stopped and turned on me.
    ‘Perhaps Keener could help?’
    My turn to be quizzed. Would I crack under pressure?
    ‘I’m not sure.’
    ‘Why do you think I’ve picked on Bee this day of all days? Earth Day.’
    ‘Because we’ve given the statue a new ear,’ didn’t seem to be the answer. Nor was, ‘Because you shouldn’t dismember elephants on Earth Day?’ likely to
be what she was looking for.
    ‘Because she’s . . .’ My mouth was ahead of my brain. I had no idea what to say. And then all of a sudden I did . . .
    ‘Because she’s into environmental things. Because she’s made a recycling box in our classroom for all the cardboard we bring in our packed lunches. Because it’s the sort
of thing Earth Day’s all about.’
    Yippee! Not about the ear.
    ‘Well done, Keener. On the ball as usual. Bee, Miss Walsh told me about your initiative and it occurred to me you would be an excellent person to champion a Go Green project within
the school. Have a look at the Earth Day website and come and talk to me next week. Keener can be your second-in-command.’
    ‘Thank you very much,’ I said.
    ‘Great!’ said Bee. ‘Really great!’
    When we got to the patch, Bee had the others in stitches explaining how she thought the Head was on about the ear. Good job we didn’t confess.
    There was even more laughing about Jonno’s substitution, which they’d all spotted.
    ‘We should do it to other things,’ said Copper Pie. ‘Add beards to the paintings in the hall.’
    ‘Change the teachers’ names on the classroom doors,’ said Bee.
    ‘It doesn’t have to be bad stuff. We could make up challenges,’ I said.
    ‘Same,’ said Fifty. ‘Getting Copper Pie out of trouble is fine, but we don’t need to start making problems for ourselves.’
    ‘I know, we could make things better . . . sort out all the litter in the playground . . . do something for charity . . . stop Callum’s lot barging into the little ones’ games.
If we work together, we could really change things,’ said Bee. Her eyes were all shiny and mad-looking.
    ‘Yeah. We could be a proper gang with weapons . . . and tattoos,’ said Copper Pie.
    I rolled my eyes at exactly the same time as Fifty. I was on the downward roll when I noticed Jonno was rolling his too. Great minds think alike!
    ‘And code words and rules and a motto,’ I said.
    ‘We could all have jobs,’ Fifty said. ‘Let’s work out who can do what.’
    Everyone started shouting out what they were good at and what the rest of us were bad at. Most of it was stupid.
    BEST AT:
WORST AT:
C. P.:
Running very fast
Red hair jokes
FIFTY:
Making fires
Putting out fires
KEENER:
Being teacher’s pet
Wrestling
BEE:
Being bossy
Being bossed
JONNO:
Statue repair
Marmite
    Bee said, ‘As I’m the bossy one, I say let’s work out who does what when the gang’s properly sorted out.’
    ‘I don’t want us to be a gang,’ said Jonno.
    What did he mean? Of course we should be a gang. It’s brilliant. We could have a ceremony and swear to die for each other . . . press our bloody thumbs together and pledge our allegiance.
(Not with real blood though, urghh!)
    ‘Why not?’ said Copper Pie.
    ‘People don’t like gangs. They’re evil.’
    ‘How about a club?’ I said.
    ‘Geek,’ said Bee. ‘Clubs are for chess.’
    ‘Got it,’ said Jonno. ‘Why don’t we form a tribe? Tribes are more serious, more loyal and they have rituals and if you’ve joined you can never