turned away and walked towards the expansive windows and looked out across the car park and into the night.
“What if something happened to me?” She asked as she looked back towards him over her shoulder. “Would you have been able to carry me to safety? Could you have fought any of them off while you found somewhere for us to hide?”
No reply came from the dark sofa.
“Yeah, I thought as much,” she continued dismissively. “It’s all up to me, isn’t it? I’m the one that has to keep us both safe and fed, and to come up with the plans while you sit there like a huge fucking baby.”
His sobs were getting louder.
“For God’s sake, Chris, shut up. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a grip.”
“But I can’t help the way I am,” he pleaded in a whimpering voice. “I know I’m fat, but it’s a disease. The doctor even said so.”
“Fuck off, Chris. Cancer is a disease. AIDS is a fucking disease,” Tina spat back at him. She raised her hand and pointed to the dark twisted shapes that hobbled around below the window. “Those poor bastards out there are a disease.”
“No it’s a…”
“Shut up, Chris. You’re just lazy and greedy. You’re the way you are because you made that choice. When everyone else was growing up, getting jobs, and being active, you made a conscious decision to stay at home and be a fat mummy’s boy. Claiming disability benefits because it was easier than living in the real world and standing on your own two feet. Your state is self-inflicted, Chris, and you’re nothing more than a fucking oxygen thief.”
For a long while the room remained quiet. Christopher remained seated on the couch and wrapped in his own self-pity while Tina stood at the window, watching the infected as they staggered about in the darkness.
The moon was high and full and its glow cast out enough light over the land for her to be able to see for a good distance. It was like watching a black and white reel of film. The colours of the earth were all but gone and replaced by multiple shades of grey and black. Below the window and scattered across the parking area in every direction she looked, she saw the infected as they mindlessly wandered about, dragging their feet with their heads lolling to the side. She studied them for a while and eventually her nerves began to settle and her anger subside. She sighed heavily and turned to look back towards the sofa.
“Come here, Christopher,” she called back to him in a voice that indicated he had no choice in the matter.
There was a pause but after a while he began to move. He did not want to provoke her by being stubborn and refusing to comply with her demands.
“Come and have a look, Chris.” Her tone was less demanding now.
He shuffled over to her with tiny, hesitant steps and kept his hands folded protectively across his chest. His head was bowed and he stared at his feet as he approached.
“It’s okay, Chris. I’m not going to lose my temper,” she said as she placed her hand on his shoulder and rubbed him gently.
He nodded solemnly but kept his gaze pointed down at his feet. He was afraid to raise his head. He did not want to look out of the window and see what was outside. He knew what was out there but he did not want to acknowledge it. He wanted to stay indoors for the rest of eternity and hide from the world outside, pretending that it did not exist.
“Go on,” she encouraged him, “take a look.”
He slowly raised his head and reluctantly gazed out over the parking area and the warehouses. There were dozens of swaying and lumbering deformed black silhouettes that contrasted starkly against the pale concrete of the parking bays. They were everywhere and he imagined them all staring back at him, as he stood exposed in the window. He screwed his eyes shut and stepped back from the large panes of glass. He was shaking his head and mumbling something that she could not understand.
“You see, that’s part of our problem,”
Susan Aldous, Nicola Pierce