he wasn’t interested in her. Even without any news of him and not paying attention to all red flags she keeps on hoping, and Carolina decides to send him a message asking to confirm whether he would meet later that day. He answers her that unfortunately he can’t, but he would like to see her again as soon as possible.
Days and weeks go by without any contact from JP for another date. Carolina couldn’t help herself and try to convince that it’s over without having started and she knew there was no future since the beginning, there was anything she could do. So she felt she had to put a stop and give up hope on him, she decides to send him a message one month later, to let him know that she would be moving on:
"Hello, I know you don’t want to see me again, but I want you to know that I loved meeting you. Goodbye."
Taking Carolina completely by surprise JP answers her in the next minutes:
"Where do you think you're going? We are not done yet"
Looking at his message, her hope is instantly renewed and she can’t resist asking:
"I don’t understand, if we aren’t done yet why are we not together?!"
"Because I'm in New York" He said.
Carolina took a breath of relief, after all he was only busy with work and she thought all this time that he wasn’t interested in her and he's just out of the country. Again she ignored all the red signs coming from the bottom of her brain just because she was madly in love with him. Another month passes by, two months, failing to schedule another meeting.
They kept in contact only through messages with circumstance talk and sometimes sexting. Whenever Carolina suggests JP she would like to see him again, he never makes an effort to set another date, he never invites her out to have fun together, and there is never an invitation for a dinner or even just for a coffee. JP never gives Carolina the opportunity to talk in person, and he doesn’t show any interest to repeat the extraordinary sex they had together. Carolina at this time already knew that what had happened between them meant nothing to him, he was still in love for the other woman and what had happened between JP and Carolina had been only once so she doesn’t see repeating it, because he doesn’t wants too. She was aware that men don’t fall in love having sex as they were perfectly able to separate the waters having sex without feeling anything for a woman.
The most interesting thing - Carolina thought she had read somewhere in one magazine article - is that men forget so easily who they went to bed with, than those women they were never able to have sex with.
In their case, they had been together only once while it was weird for a first time and experience, but intense and wonderful to remember for lifetime. If Carolina knew that they weren’t seeing each other again, she would try to grasp the opportunity to have had a decent conversation with him at the time and the only time they had been together. She can´t forgive her for not being able to talk with him at the time and to ask to spend more time together to know each other better.
So the only experience they had together was arriving, talked a few sentences, had sex and walked away. Then again she blamed herself because that’s what she initially wanted from him, but now she wants to see him again and she feels she wants to try more. She would like to think and have the illusion that she could have a way of having the time and opportunity for him to develop any feelings for her, she know it was almost impossible for him to have any feelings for her only from a couple of hours and she couldn’t blame him for that, because she consented it to happen as well.
As much she thought about it, as much she knew it was an impossible love, after all not even she knew him, how could she love him without knowing him? She knew she loved an illusion, a fantasy from her head, she didn’t know who that man was and she had fallen in love for him. And the truth is that