The Drowned Boy by Karin Fossum Read Free Book Online

they were in mourning. A deep, bottomless pit of grief. He couldn’t even contemplate food or sleep or work, or the days ahead that would roll on regardless.
    “Are you coming?” she turned around and called.
    “Didn’t I just say no?” he yelled.
    Suddenly he couldn’t contain himself any longer.
    “Go, just go. Go and get on with your life!”
    She stood there looking at him, astounded by this outburst. She didn’t recognize him, didn’t know this fury. She had never seen it before.
    “Do you want a divorce?” she asked out of the blue. Now she was angry as well, because he was being so horrible and difficult.
    “Yes,” he said. “Maybe I do. Then you can grieve in your own weird way.”

8
    MORE THAN ANYTHING , he wanted to keep her in his shirt pocket, close to his heart. He wanted to take her everywhere with him and protect her from all fear and suffering, protect her from all danger. Because he loved Carmen Cesilie more than anything in the world, this slip of a blond thing who was his daughter. He had a father’s unstinting patience. He held her to him tight, bursting with love. She disappeared into his embrace and stayed there for a long time. Marian Zita was big and heavy, with a sturdy barrel-shaped body, thin legs, and broad duck’s feet. He had thick, curly black hair peppered with gray, and huge worn hands that were used to hard work. In private, Zita had cursed God and the Virgin, all the deities who had betrayed him, raging with sorrow and despair. Carmen cried against his chest, inconsolable. Her father had always been her loyal ally; he stood by her through thick and thin no matter what. And over the years there had been a number of times when she needed his help. Like the time when the boyfriend she had before Nicolai had hit her. And when she became pregnant with Tommy at seventeen. But this was a crisis. Her mother looked around the yard, then further down toward the water, where she saw Nicolai sitting at the end of the jetty.
    “How do you think he feels? Shall we go and comfort him?”
    “No,” Carmen said. “He doesn’t want it. He just wants to be left alone. He says he’s going to sit there all night. He’s not very good at expressing his emotions—he clams up completely. And then there’s nothing you can do. He just says no. Come on; let’s go in. Maybe he’ll come later. Maybe he’ll change his mind.”
    Her parents followed her into the house. When her mother saw Tommy’s play blanket on the floor, she started to cry.
    “Why didn’t we manage to get the fence sorted?” Zita said wearily. “It will haunt me until my dying day. We could have hired a carpenter; it would have been done in no time.”
    Carmen pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table.
    “We need to eat something,” she said, determined. “When I said that to Nicolai, that we needed food, he got mad at me. I mean, making sure we get sustenance is not exactly being disloyal to Tommy, is it?”
    She caught her father’s eye, seeking the comfort she always got. A right that she had taken for granted all her life.
    “Is it, Dad?” she begged. “I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten all day. It isn’t being disloyal to Tommy if we eat.”
    Her father shook his head. “No, sweetheart, of course not. And no matter what Nicolai says, I’m going down to see him.”
    Carmen grabbed his arm. “He says it’s my fault,” she said. “That I should have closed the door and kept an eye on him.”
    Her father waved his hands around in exasperation. He almost lost his balance. “What has happened is terrible, but it was an accident,” he said. “And no one at all is to blame, especially not you. He just said that in despair. He doesn’t know what he’s saying and he’ll regret it later. I know how it is in the heat of the moment. Don’t forget your sister, Louisa,” he added with feeling. “I know what I’m talking about.”
    He stroked her cheek.
    “And you know, that’s the thing about