The Drowning House by Elizabeth Black Read Free Book Online Page B

me know that what came next would be party talk, not to be taken seriously. “You’ve seen what they’re doing next door,” Eleanor went on, “such a wonderful job. Lots of repairs. Painting.” She raised her eyebrows at me and was gone.
    “Hi. Sorry, no hands.” Leanne held up a glass and a skewered shrimp. She smiled briefly and deliberately, then her features fell back into place. Her straight blond hair was so fine I could see the pink of her scalp. She waved the shrimp. “I’m hoping if I keep myhands full I won’t eat. I’ve still got twelve pounds to lose.” There were shadows under her eyes and a not-quite-white stain on her shoulder. She has a baby , I thought, and felt something turn over inside me.
    “You don’t look as if you have any weight issues,” she said.
    “No.”
    “Lucky you.” She paused. “I mean, I bet you’re disciplined. What you eat.”
    I thought of the week’s worth of junk food and the trash I’d left in the car. I shook my head.
    Her smile flickered on and off. “You work out?”
    “No.” I wondered why she’d asked. No one had ever mistaken me for an athlete. Then all at once I understood. I had known girls like her in high school, they came around acting friendly once a year, right before the class elections. I wondered why she thought I was worth her trouble.
    “I lost my daughter a year ago,” I said.
    “Oh. I’m sorry.” The color left her face. “I’m so sorry,” she said. She looked unhappily at her feet. I noticed that her heels hung out over the backs of her too-small sandals. She must have seen me looking. “My feet grew when I was pregnant,” she said. “I thought they’d go back, but it doesn’t look like they will. I mean, it’s been four months.” She smiled again, earnestly. “Now I’m going to have to get all new shoes.” She stopped. “But listen to me. When you—”
    “I just didn’t feel like eating.”
    “Well. You wouldn’t, would you?”
    I shrugged. “Grief affects people differently. I know someone who goes out and wrecks a car when he’s unhappy. It’s expensive, but he can afford it. Or his parents can.” A waiter offered wine on a silver tray and I turned and took a glass. As I did, my camera swung around where Leanne could see it.
    “Oh,” she said, exhaling, “you’re the photographer.”
    “That’s right.”
    “So you’re not … I mean, I thought you were part of the family.”
    “Of this family? No. Thank God.”
    Her face flushed suddenly.
    “Clare.” Eleanor was back. She smiled brightly at Leanne. “Excuse us.” She took me by the arm and led me into the big double drawing room—pale damask walls set off by a frieze of lilies, the ceiling painted to look like sky and clouds. I didn’t need Will to give me a tour, I could have led one myself. The house was filling up, and the noise of the party eddied around us. “What did you say to her?” Eleanor demanded.
    “Leanne? I guess she was disappointed. She took me for one of the Carradays and I had to disabuse her.”
    Eleanor looked at me closely. “Did she say why?”
    “No.”
    “She was upset.”
    “She seems concerned about her weight. She did just have a baby.”
    “I see.” Eleanor folded both hands around her glass and looked down into it. “Clare. Is this how you want the rest of your life to be? No one expects you to forget. But this …”
    “She was only talking to me because she thought I was important. Because she thought I was one of them. And I told her I’m not.”
    There was a pause. Eleanor didn’t move, but she seemed to withdraw. Her large green eyes grew larger. After a moment, she said, “When you were born, I thought things would be different. I thought, who wouldn’t want two healthy girls, one who is—” She stopped herself. Then her nostrils flared, and I saw that she was angry. “You have never had any reason to be ashamed,” she said.
    I felt confused. I wondered how much she’d had to drink.