The Elementals by Francesca Lia Block Read Free Book Online

that weekend I felt tears coming. I bit my lip, fanning my face and putting my other hand over the receiver so they wouldn’t hear.
    “Sweetie?” my mom said. I had been able to keep myself from crying in front of them until then. I hadn’t wanted to worry her but it was too much.
    My dad got on the other line and they kept asking me what was wrong and what they could do. I couldn’t talk about the cancer. It was as if we’d all made a pact not to mention it. I couldn’t talk about the concert and how a strange boy brought me home. I couldn’t talk about her but I did anyway.
    “I’ve been looking for Jeni.”
    “Ariel, sweetie, we’re talking about your friend, Jennifer?” my mom asked gently.
    She started calling Jeni by her full name a few months after she’d disappeared. I knew my mom wasn’t aware she was doing that but it made me sad, as if she had given up. Jeni might come back but Jennifer Benson was already a reference from the past.
    “Jeni, not Jennifer. What other one is there?” I hadn’t meant to snap out like that. “Sorry,” I said.
    “It’s okay. We know you’re under a lot of pressure and stress,” said my dad.
    “But that’s not what this is about!” I yanked the ponytail out of my hair and tugged on a handful of roots. “I’m looking for her. What’s wrong with that? The cops didn’t do shit.”
    “Do you want us to come there?” my mom asked, and I heard my dad say quietly, “Natalie…” which I knew meant, You aren’t up to traveling anywhere right now, even if your daughter is having a nervous breakdown.
    “Forget it,” I told them. “Just forget it. Why do I even bother trying to talk to you about anything except my classes and the stupid weather? You don’t ever listen!”
    My mom’s voice sounded very small when I finally stopped. “I know I haven’t been there for you as much as usual. I’m really sorry.”
    “I have to go,” I said.
    “Please tell us more,” said my mom, but I couldn’t.
    “I really have to go.” And I hung up.
    *   *   *
    That night as I was changing for bed I saw Lauren staring at me.
    When I glanced down at my abdomen I saw what she was looking at. There were five small dark marks there, bruises, like the imprint of fingertips.
    What the hell? I thought suddenly of John Graves, his long fingers with the silver rings. He had held my hips from behind—it must have been him—but only lightly.
    I was glad for the marks; it meant he was real.

 
    8. The way you are suddenly somewhere in a dream
    Fear echoed inside of me like footsteps on the marble floor of Doe as I walked back to the dorms in the dark. We were told the campus was safe at night, watched over by guards, stationed with surveillance cameras and call boxes, but I didn’t feel that way, not after what I knew.
    Now every tree hid a serial killer and every shadow was one.
    I was afraid but not so afraid to stay in at night; I had to be vigilant, I had to keep looking. And part of me was out there for another reason. Part of me wanted someone to come out of the darkness and grab me by the throat and make me forget everything about my life, but not just anyone—John Graves.
    “Ariel,” he would whisper into my ear as he tugged on my ponytail. “Ariel, like The Tempest. ”
    Ever since that night at the concert I thought about him constantly, almost as much as I thought about Jeni. I thought about the smell of his hair and the feel of his hand holding mine and the frown line that formed between his eyes. I thought about the angular shape of his cheekbone and chin and throat contrasting with the softness of his mouth and eyelashes. All I had to remember him by were those marks on my abdomen—they looked like fingertips. The marks were real—I could see them—but I wondered if I had imagined the man. It seemed as if something was wrong in my head now, as if all the stress and drinking and the two events that changed my life had started to do things to my mind.