The Final Exam by Gitty Daneshvari Read Free Book Online Page A

at him intently, frightened of what he’d do next.
    “I had no choice; I promised her…”
    “Promised who?” Lulu yelped excitedly—perhaps too excitedly, as it jolted the man.
    “I need to go,” Abernathy declared, opening his eyes and sitting straight up. Seconds later, he darted out of the Fearnasium without so much as a wave or look in Lulu and Garrison’s direction.
    “What do you think he meant when he said he had no choice?” Garrison repeated curiously to Lulu.
    “I’m still wondering who
she
is…”

EVERYONE’S AFRAID OF SOMETHING:
Dermatophobia is the fear
of skin lesions.

F ailure is the most relentless of enemies, ravaging all who cross its path. And nowhere was this truer than with the School of Fearians. As their prospects of success dwindled, so did their confidence, inciting a marked regression in the students’ behavior. And, try as they might, they simply couldn’t resist sharing their rediscovered phobias with Abernathy.
    “Spiders are essentially eight-legged criminals, dare I say terrorists, so if you see one, kill it. And that goes forinsects as well. When in doubt, stomp first, ask questions later,” Madeleine said politely while having afternoon tea with Abernathy in the classroom. “Another scone?”
    “Madeleine,” Abernathy chirped as he placed a scone on his small rose plate, “I spent a lot of time with spiders and insects while living in the forest.”
    “I hadn’t thought of that. We really ought to bathe you in boric acid, just in case any creepy crawlers slipped in with you,” Madeleine said as she pushed her chair away from Abernathy.
    “Oh, no, I didn’t mean to scare you. I promise no spiders or insects came in with me. I just wanted to tell you that they are actually pretty amazing creatures if you get to know them.”
    “Blasphemy!” Madeleine responded with such high drama that she could easily have been mistaken for Theo. “Abernathy, I loathe pulling rank, but I am the teacher, and that means I am
always
correct! SPIDERS MUST DIE!”
    While Madeleine was focused on spiders and insects, Lulu returned to her unilateral distrust of elevators.
    “How do we really know the doors are going to openagain? The government claims to monitor elevators, but with the economy tanking, something is bound to fall through the cracks. And my money is on elevator maintenance.”
    “But aren’t there phones in elevators?” Abernathy asked quietly.
    “I can’t believe you even brought those up! They’re less reliable than Theo on a diet!” Lulu shrieked, most illogically offended by Abernathy’s comment.
    Even Garrison, who was normally heralded for his cool façade, was starting to crumble in front of Abernathy.
    “Surfing is all about being Zen, cool, and collected, and that’s totally me,” Garrison stated emphatically before his face started perspiring excessively. “My only problem with surfing is the water. Those currents will suck you out to sea and drown you slowly…”
    Abernathy wondered why Garrison hadn’t created a new persona based around rock climbing or hang gliding so that he could easily avoid water. But the boy was utterly disinterested in being anything other than a surfer, albeit a fraudulent one. However disturbing Abernathy’s conversation with Garrison was, it paled incomparison to Theo’s diatribe on danger. He literally listed seventeen ways to die within seventeen steps of the front door. After absorbing such macabre information, Abernathy was extraordinarily relieved to listen to Hyacinth sing—at least until he took note of the lyrics. The little girl had taken to singing about being alone and friendless after School of Fear closed.
    With mere days left before Sylvie’s article was to run, even Schmidty worried that School of Fear would soon find itself shuttered, forever disgraced. Following hours of nervous cooking and cleaning, the old man pondered his precarious future while lugging garbage to the back of Summerstone. Alone