The Finding of Freddie Perkins by Liz Baddaley Read Free Book Online Page B

nobody ever believe me? Why are you being so stupid?’
    â€˜Freddie!’ snapped his dad. ‘How dare you speak to your grandmother and me like that!’
    Freddie felt crushed by the injustice of it all. He didn’t know what was going on at Willow Beck, but he knew one thing.
He
wasn’t behind it. He tried to hold his anger in, but he couldn’t. It was bursting out in a rush.
    â€˜I hate you! Why do you never listen to what I say? Why don’t you ever believe me?’ he shouted, and with one final whimper, ‘Mum would have believed me.’
    At that point he caught Granny P’s eye, and he felt ashamed. He knew he wasn’t being fair on Dad. But Dad wasn’t being fair on him either.
    Again he went up to bed without saying goodnight. Only this time, he was sent. And as he climbed the stairs, feeling painfully alone, he heard his dad say, ‘I’m so sorry, Ma. I guess I should have expected that he would play up. He misses her so much. I thought you were getting through to him, but I think he’s just withdrawing even more with all this hiding and pretending. I don’t know what to do.’
    â€˜Give him time Stephen. Give him time,’ said Granny P, softly.
    Freddie tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He did miss his mum. And all the time since the world began wouldn’t change that. But he hadn’t been hiding and finding things. Why would he want to do that?
    After all, it would never bring back what was really lost.

8
The silence moves in again

    Freddie’s door slammed behind him with a crash in perfect synchronisation with his dive on to the bed. But all the noise in the world couldn’t have drowned out the shouting in his head.
    It’s so unfair! It’s all just so unfair!
    And then suddenly out of nowhere, the rushing noise in his ears was back, and the tightness in his chest, and the rising tears that never quite made it but stuck halfway up his throat and made him feel like he was choking.
    And there was a new feeling too – an anger so big he felt like it must belong to someone else – a huge angry giant perhaps. No wonder it felt like he couldn’t contain it in his boy’s body. He hated all these feelings, and the fact that he seemed powerless against them, but most of all he hated that no one else seemed to have them.
    In fact, he hated everyone and everything.
    * * *
    After a few minutes, when the giant’s anger seemed to reduce slightly and it was easier to breathe, Freddie was able to sit up.
    He looked around him desperately for comfort. Was there anyone or anything that would understand how lost and lonely he felt?
    Freddie reached for the genie teapot and held its solid, spiky realness close to his chest, wrapping his arms as tightly round it as possible – not even caringabout the pointy silver thistles and the golden eagle’s sharp little beak. He knew it was stupid but he screwed his eyes up and wished that she would come back.
    Wished and wished and wished with all his might. All three wishes used up on just one thing – the only thing that mattered.
    But of course nothing happened.
    And then there was a knock on the door, and Granny P’s soft tones were entreating him. ‘Freddie? Freddie? Can I come in, Freddie?’
    Freddie didn’t answer. He was still too angry to speak. And he didn’t want Granny P here. Not now. Possibly not ever.
    The door creaked open nevertheless, and Granny P came slowly into the room and sat on the end of the bed. He could see her kind eyes taking him in: his tense clenched body, and the teapot spout poking out from under his right arm.
    He realised she knew what he’d been doing and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like her knowing at all. And he didn’t want to hear whatever adult cheering-up lie was coming next.
    He wouldn’t hear it. He
wouldn’t
listen to it! He didn’t have to take any more of their pep talks