was too late. I heard him sigh, and then he walked off to help the vizier dismount from his horse.
Yashar reached out for me and I caught his hand. “Be careful,” he said. “Don’t forget to pray on your way to the city.”
“I doubt the vizier will let me forget,” I said.
“Zayele,” he said, coming closer. “When you get there, can you see if they have any … anything for me to do?” He blinked, but it did nothing to clear his sight. It was always strange, looking at him, knowing he couldn’t look back. He couldn’t see the uncertainty I felt, but if I wasn’t careful, he could hear it in my voice.
My throat got really thick all of a sudden. “Yes,” I said, sounding as confident as I could, “I’ll find something and then send you a message.”
“Thank you,” he said. He hugged me then, dropping tears on my shoulders, and stepped back to allow our mother to speak.
“My dear, you’ve become such a beautiful woman.”
“I’m not a woman yet. Remind Father that I am still a child. And he’s already shoving me off.”
“Zayele,” she warned. She glanced back at the men before gripping my wrists. “This is something we all go through. You have no choice because there isn’t any. Don’t you believe that I’d give you one if I could? Don’t you think that he would have?” She let go of my wrists. “Rahela is going to help you. Trust her. We love you, and we know you’ll do well in Baghdad.”
There were no tears on her cheeks when she let go.
I stood still while everyone bustled around me. They carried boxes of silks and other goods onto the barges, and they coaxed the vizier’s favorite horse onto his personal barge, the one in front. There was a flurry of children running along the water, the guards trading their horses with the village men for other things they wanted, and then the vizier was standing in front of me. He was dressed in black, with his ink-dyed hand outstretched.
“Cousin, let me help you onto your barge,” he said. When I didn’t reach out to him, he picked my hand up and held it tightly. His palm was dry and callused. Then he took me down the three stone steps to the plank.
I turned and saw Rahela right there, in my shadow. My parents stood together, with Yashar off to the side. Everyone but Yashar watched as we were ushered onto the barge.
“We’re going in that?” I asked Hashim. He had taken us to the front, where the sides of the barge rose a few feet off the floor. A door was open in the raised center, showing a dark, gaping hole in the belly of the barge.
“Yes, Zayele.”
I crept into the hole. Rahela climbed in and we stood there, looking at the impossibly small space. There was only one sleeping bench and a little bit of floor. Two of our trunks were tucked in beneath the bench. Anything not in the light coming from the door was lost in shadow.
Hashim shut the door in my face and opened a little window with wooden slats.
“You can’t lock us up in here!” I pressed my face against theslats, and tried to find a handle. There wasn’t one. “It’s not like we’d jump off the boat!”
He slid the bolt on the door and locked it, holding up the key for emphasis. Everything inside me froze. “I had hoped to spare us this discussion, but as we are having it, know that if you were allowed to walk about in full view, any man along the way would be sorely tempted. It’s for your own safety. It’s best if no one knows we have a princess on board.”
Then he turned and disappeared from our little window. All I could see was a bit of sky and part of the barge in front of ours. A moment later, I saw him climb on board his own barge and settle down on a bench made of folded rugs. He brushed at the dust on his sleeves, wiping away anything from our village that might have settled there.
“At least leave it unlocked!” I shouted at him. But he didn’t seem to hear. Instead, he lifted his arm and waved at the family I couldn’t see
Learning to Kill: Stories