The Fullness of Quiet by Natasha Orme Read Free Book Online Page B

ceased to exist. As we walked, the gravestones gradually became readable. It was like going through a time portal.
    Joshua hadn’t said anything since we’d entered the graveyard. I knew he was clueless. All his insecurities would be playing havoc in his mind. It made me feel cruel. I should just tell him but I wouldn’t have been able to explain it.
    We reached a shiny grey headstone and I knelt down and placed the flowers at the base. I stood back and looked at the scene for a few seconds. Mother, Wife and loving friend. Will be remembered now and always it said. I turned to Joshua to see him watching me carefully.
    “Your Mum?” he asked. I nodded. “Do you come here every Saturday?” I nodded again.
    “I always bring her fresh flowers. To let her know that I’m thinking of her and that we all miss her very much.” Joshua nodded and looked down at his feet. I looked back at the headstone and after a while, Joshua sat down next to me. We sat there in silence and I prayed a little. I didn’t pray to God, I prayed to Mum. I asked her to look after us, watch over us and take care of herself. I told her we were missing her every day and that we will always remember her. I always told her the same things. But I hoped she could hear me and know that we missed her very much.
    I reached my hand out and touched the grass in front of us. It was soft to touch and I remembered a time when the grass was upturned soil, fresh from her burial.
    I looked up at the sky and the clouds. I watched the birds dance and hide between the fluffy white layers. Time will continue to go forwards. It will not stop and wait and the only way to keep up with it is to persevere with all your mortal strength. Time takes part in a race to the end and even then it continues like nothing has ever happened. Those who fall behind get left behind.
    “What are you thinking?” asked Joshua. I looked at him and smiled.
    “I’m thinking about how Time is so fragile and if you are not careful, then you will get left behind because it will not wait for you.” Joshua pondered what I’d said for a moment.
    “Maybe Time is a guardian and it nudges you along. Encourages you to grow and learn before you reach a point where you cannot anymore and that is when you get left behind.”
    I nodded. “Maybe. You never stop learning. Even when you are on your death bed.”
    “Yes.”
    We stood up and looked down at the headstone. I smiled at the thought that I’d shared this special moment with the person stood next to me.
    “Now I’m free for the day,” I signed. Joshua smiled. I took his hand and we began to make our way back towards home.

Chapter 9
    Joshua hadn’t mentioned my Mum since we visited the graveyard. It seemed to be an area that he was anxious to avoid and I couldn’t work it out. I thought he would have wanted to know how she died and that. Or at least ask me if I’d visited that weekend. He avoided me the following Saturday morning and only appeared late in the afternoon when he knew I wouldn’t be visiting her grave. I don’t know if it made him feel uncomfortable or if he just didn’t know how to approach the subject. I was relatively open about that sort of stuff. I tried my best not to live in the past and to be grateful for the present.
    “Do you want Daddy to ring your mum and let her know you’re here?” Joshua shook his head. He’d been unusually quiet all day. He’d avoided me during school and hadn’t said much since. We were sat outside on the porch, enjoying the last few hours of sunlight. “What’s wrong, Joshua? You’ve been acting funny all day.”
    “There’s something I need to tell you. I just don’t know how to and I don’t like talking about it.”
    “What is it?” I put my hand on his leg for comfort.
    “She isn’t my mum,” he signed.
    “Who isn’t?”
    “The woman your dad calls. It’s my aunt.”
    I hesitated, unsure where this was going. “Okay. Is that a bad thing?”
    “No. The reason