The Great Big Book of Horrible Things: The Definitive Chronicle of History's 100 Worst Atrocities by Matthew White Read Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Matthew White
looted from the Armenian capital Tigranocerta made Lucullus the richest man in Rome, and his extravagant lifestyle became legendary after he returned home and began spending it.
Mithridates now fled to his lands on the north shore of the Black Sea, where his son, Machares, ruled, but Machares did not want to antagonize Rome and refused to take up arms. Never a sentimentalist, Mithridates killed Machares and took personal control of his territory. He rebuilt his army by recruiting Scythian horsemen from the Ukrainian steppe.
In Asia Minor, Lucullus made enemies among his fellow countrymen as he consolidated control of Rome’s conquests. To relieve the crushing poverty of these war-torn lands, he unilaterally abolished some of the heaviest debts that the colonials owed Roman moneylenders and tax farmers, independent contractors who squeezed the local populations on behalf of the Roman government. This angered many powerful financiers. His soldiers also disliked Lucullus for being stingy with his loot, so they refused to go any further during his latest campaign. This opened the door for a Pontic counteroffensive to reclaim a lot of the lost territory. Lucullus’s enemies in Rome took this opportunity to have him recalled and replaced by Pompey (66 BCE), who then grabbed all of the glory by administering the last blow to the dying Kingdom of Pontus.
As the world closed in around him, Mithridates poisoned his daughters and wives to keep them from being captured and humiliated. He then tried to kill himself by poison, but this failed because he had spent a lifetime developing an immunity to the poisons commonly used by assassins. Finally, one of his generals finished the job with a sword.
GALLIC WAR
Death toll: 700,000 1
Rank: 61
Type: war of conquest
Broad dividing line: Romans vs. Gauls, Germans
Time frame: 58–51 BCE
Location: Gaul (France)
Who usually gets the most blame: Caesar
Another damn: Roman conquest
Helvetii
The surest way to please the voters of Rome was to bring back plenty of loot from foreign conquests and distribute it liberally throughout the city. By the time of the late Roman Republic, however, the empire was too big for the two ruling consuls to go rampaging all over the world, racking up wealth and glory in foreign wars during the single year allotted them. Instead, they got their chance as proconsuls, former consuls who were appointed by the Senate as governors of troublesome (but potentially lucrative) frontier provinces. A popular consul would be rewarded with a lush province to squeeze, while an unpopular one might be given a vast stretch of rocky desert full of scruffy, unprofitable nomads. After serving out his extremely popular term as consul, Gaius Julius Caesar was given four legions and the job of governing several peaceful northern Roman provinces, notably southern Gaul (now southern France).
Caesar was itching for an excuse—any excuse—to start conquering and looting, so he was delighted when the Celtic Helvetians asked permission to migrate across the Roman protectorate in Gaul in 58 BCE. Caesar refused the request, the Helvetians went ahead anyway, and Caesar jumped in front of them with six legions. * He built a long wall across their path near Lake Geneva and waited. The Helvetians waited too.
When the Helvetians tried to maneuver around Caesar, he caught them crossing a river and smashed their rear guard. Then he pursued them closely, allowing them no rest and killing any stragglers, until he accidentally outreached his supply lines. As he pulled back, the Helvetians turned around and pursued him, until the Romans made a stand on a hill near the major Gallic town of Bibracte in central France. They repulsed the Helvetian attacks, counterattacked, and destroyed them.
According to documents that Caesar found in the abandoned Helvetian camp, 368,000 Helvetians (one-fourth of them warriors) had set out, but now only 110,000 were left. He resettled the survivors back in
Mithridates now fled to his lands on the north shore of the Black Sea, where his son, Machares, ruled, but Machares did not want to antagonize Rome and refused to take up arms. Never a sentimentalist, Mithridates killed Machares and took personal control of his territory. He rebuilt his army by recruiting Scythian horsemen from the Ukrainian steppe.
In Asia Minor, Lucullus made enemies among his fellow countrymen as he consolidated control of Rome’s conquests. To relieve the crushing poverty of these war-torn lands, he unilaterally abolished some of the heaviest debts that the colonials owed Roman moneylenders and tax farmers, independent contractors who squeezed the local populations on behalf of the Roman government. This angered many powerful financiers. His soldiers also disliked Lucullus for being stingy with his loot, so they refused to go any further during his latest campaign. This opened the door for a Pontic counteroffensive to reclaim a lot of the lost territory. Lucullus’s enemies in Rome took this opportunity to have him recalled and replaced by Pompey (66 BCE), who then grabbed all of the glory by administering the last blow to the dying Kingdom of Pontus.
As the world closed in around him, Mithridates poisoned his daughters and wives to keep them from being captured and humiliated. He then tried to kill himself by poison, but this failed because he had spent a lifetime developing an immunity to the poisons commonly used by assassins. Finally, one of his generals finished the job with a sword.
GALLIC WAR
Death toll: 700,000 1
Rank: 61
Type: war of conquest
Broad dividing line: Romans vs. Gauls, Germans
Time frame: 58–51 BCE
Location: Gaul (France)
Who usually gets the most blame: Caesar
Another damn: Roman conquest
Helvetii
The surest way to please the voters of Rome was to bring back plenty of loot from foreign conquests and distribute it liberally throughout the city. By the time of the late Roman Republic, however, the empire was too big for the two ruling consuls to go rampaging all over the world, racking up wealth and glory in foreign wars during the single year allotted them. Instead, they got their chance as proconsuls, former consuls who were appointed by the Senate as governors of troublesome (but potentially lucrative) frontier provinces. A popular consul would be rewarded with a lush province to squeeze, while an unpopular one might be given a vast stretch of rocky desert full of scruffy, unprofitable nomads. After serving out his extremely popular term as consul, Gaius Julius Caesar was given four legions and the job of governing several peaceful northern Roman provinces, notably southern Gaul (now southern France).
Caesar was itching for an excuse—any excuse—to start conquering and looting, so he was delighted when the Celtic Helvetians asked permission to migrate across the Roman protectorate in Gaul in 58 BCE. Caesar refused the request, the Helvetians went ahead anyway, and Caesar jumped in front of them with six legions. * He built a long wall across their path near Lake Geneva and waited. The Helvetians waited too.
When the Helvetians tried to maneuver around Caesar, he caught them crossing a river and smashed their rear guard. Then he pursued them closely, allowing them no rest and killing any stragglers, until he accidentally outreached his supply lines. As he pulled back, the Helvetians turned around and pursued him, until the Romans made a stand on a hill near the major Gallic town of Bibracte in central France. They repulsed the Helvetian attacks, counterattacked, and destroyed them.
According to documents that Caesar found in the abandoned Helvetian camp, 368,000 Helvetians (one-fourth of them warriors) had set out, but now only 110,000 were left. He resettled the survivors back in
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