The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis Read Free Book Online Page B

that!’ said the Spirit. ‘That’ll soon come right. But you’re going in the wrong direction. It’s back there—to the mountains—you need to go. You can lean on me all the way. I can’t absolutely carry you, but you need have almost no weight on your own feet: and it will hurt less at every step.’
    â€˜I’m not afraid of being hurt. You know that.’
    â€˜Then what is the matter?’
    â€˜Can’t you understand anything? Do you really suppose I’m going out there among all those people, like this?’
    â€˜But why not?’
    â€˜I’d never have come at all if I’d known you were all going to be dressed like that.’
    â€˜Friend, you see I’m not dressed at all.’
    â€˜I didn’t mean that. Do go away.’
    â€˜But can’t you even tell me?’
    â€˜If you can’t understand, there’d be no good trying to explain it. How can I go out like this among a lot of people with real solid bodies? It’s far worse than going out with nothing on would have been on Earth. Have everyone staring through me.’
    â€˜Oh, I see. But we were all a bit ghostly when we first arrived, you know. That’ll wear off. Just come out and try.’
    â€˜But they’ll see me.’
    â€˜What does it matter if they do?’
    â€˜I’d rather die.’
    â€˜But you’ve died already. There’s no good trying to go back to that.’
    The Ghost made a sound something between a sob and a snarl. ‘I wish I’d never been born,’ it said. ‘What are we born for?’
    â€˜For infinite happiness,’ said the Spirit. ‘You can step out into it at any moment…’
    â€˜But, I tell you, they’ll see me.’
    â€˜An hour hence and you will not care. A day hence and you will laugh at it. Don’t you remember on earth—there were things too hot to touch with your finger but you could drink them all right? Shame is like that. If you will accept it—if you will drink the cup to the bottom—you will find it very nourishing: but try to do anything else with it and it scalds.’
    â€˜You really mean?…’ said the Ghost, and then paused. My suspense was strained up to the height. I felt that my own destiny hung on her reply. I could have fallen at her feet and begged her to yield.
    â€˜Yes,’ said the Spirit. ‘Come and try.’
    Almost, I thought the Ghost had obeyed. Certainly it had moved: but suddenly it cried out, ‘No, I can’t. I tellyou I can’t. For a moment, while you were talking, I almost thought…but when it comes to the point…You’ve no right to ask me to do a thing like that. It’s disgusting. I should never forgive myself if I did. Never, never. And it’s not fair. They ought to have warned us. I’d never have come. And now—please, please go away!”
    â€˜Friend,’ said the Spirit. ‘Could you, only for a moment, fix your mind on something not yourself?’
    â€˜I’ve already given you my answer,’ said the Ghost, coldly but still tearful.
    â€˜Then only one expedient remains,’ said the Spirit, and to my great surprise he set a horn to his lips and blew. I put my hands over my ears. The earth seemed to shake: the whole wood trembled and dindled at the sound. I suppose there must have been a pause after that (though there seemed to be none) before I heard the thudding of hoofs—far off at first, but already nearer before I had well identified it, and soon so near that I began to look about for some place of safety. Before I had found one the danger was all about us. A herd of unicorns came thundering through the glades: twenty-seven hands high the smallest of them and white as swans but for the red gleam in eyes and nostrils and the flashing indigo of their horns. I can still remember the squelching noise of the soft wet turfunder their hoofs, the breaking of