The Hollow Men (Book 1): Crave by Jonathan Teague Read Free Book Online

again.
    Bill drew inward and focused on academics. He earned a Ph.D. in chemical engineering and armed himself with an expansive vocabulary and impressive diction. With school success, Bill recovered his self-esteem. He went to bars with confidence and awkwardly flirted with attractive women. He fell hard for a pretty brunette named Wendy who was exceptionally gifted at leading him on, all the while extorting expensive presents from him. This went on for a year.
    Unpracticed in dating, he assumed that a relationship lasting one year meant a serious one, a permanent one. Bill surfaced the topic of marriage several times. At first Wendy treated it lightly, “We’re just having fun now, Bill. What’s the hurry?”
    As he ramped up his earnestness, she progressed from casually brushing the idea off to firm rejection of the notion of marrying him. Her plan was to have fun on his money and then move on to the next infatuated fool willing to empty his wallet to entertain her, so she kept enough playfulness in her tone to keep him interested and spending money on her.
    The more she resisted, the more anxious and blinded Bill became. In his addled mind, she wanted to marry him but was just nervous to take the next logical step in their relationship. He decided to show his commitment to her by buying the most expensive ring he could afford. The diamond was a half carat with one tiny occlusion and slightly yellow in color.
    His heart was beating with excitement when he went down on one knee and presented her with the engagement ring. Before he could get the words out, Wendy shrieked at him. “Bill, get up off the ground. You look ridiculous, an even greater embarrassment than normal. I’ve told you a million times that I would never marry you. To tell you the truth, I find the whole idea of being married to you revolting.”
    It had never occurred to Bill that his girlfriend, as he saw her, wouldn’t say yes, let alone mock him so brutally instead. His heart shattered, he numbly got to his feet, hung his head, and mumbled. “I’m sorry. I thought we were…and that you felt…”
    Wendy had enough of his whining. “Let me do you the biggest favor of your life and break it off now before you get even more pitiful. I can’t stand another minute of pretending to like you. To tell you the truth, every time you touch me it makes my skin crawl.”
    Bill collapsed onto a chair and began to cry. The physical pain in his chest was so strong that he felt like he was dying. Wendy took the ring box and shook it in his face. “I should just take this from you. I’m probably the closest you will ever get to putting a ring on someone’s finger. Instead, I’ll leave it for you to remember me by”
    Bill bounded to his feet, “weeble wobble” again, and pushed the ring box back at her. “Take it. I don’t want it any more than I want the memories.” He couldn’t mask the hope that this might hurt her feelings and realize she’d pushed things too far, that she’d apologize and things would get back to normal.
    He hated himself for wanting that.
    She rolled her eyes at him, threw the ring in her purse, kissed her hand and patted him on the cheek with nearly slap-like force. She walked away laughing. “Suit yourself. Take care Bill.”
    From that moment, Bill decided he would never be that vulnerable again, never be pathetic again. He took a professorship at Syracuse and taught two classes a week there.
    He kept himself emotionally distant from any woman he dated. The less emotion he gave them, the more needy his girlfriends grew. When his relationships reached the point of total surrender to him, he ended them immediately. He told himself that he wouldn’t keep dating women who had reached that point of desperation because he didn’t accept weakness in himself.
    In reality, he relished conquering women so completely and felt a great thrill when he caused the kind of pain he’d felt when Wendy crushed his heart.
    Laura reminded him