The Importance of Being a Bachelor by Mike Gayle Read Free Book Online

thinking?’
    ‘Oh, nothing too showy,’ replied Cassie. ‘A small party. Some nice food, family, friends, just the people you love and care about most. It won’t be a big deal. And you won’t have to lift a finger. The boys and I will organise the lot for you.’
    Luke saw his mum look to his dad for approval as he had seen her do a million times before. Not exactly an act of deference (she always did whatever she wanted to do anyway) but not exactly not either. ‘What do you think, George?’
    ‘I’m happy if you’re happy,’ he replied.
    ‘Then we’ll do it,’ she said, clapping her hands. ‘We’ll do it!’

‘It’ll be my good deed for the day.’
    Adam was lying in bed wondering where his life was going. Since committing himself to his project to find the right kind of girl over a month ago he had been on over a dozen disastrous dates without a shred of success. Of late he had persuaded his friend Jon’s girlfriend Shelley to let him take her friend Farah for lunch; three days later he had found himself on an unofficial blind date with his bar manager’s sister Linda, and a week after that he went out with Ellen, his friend Martin’s sister who had just returned to Manchester after living in Spain. Each one of his dates had been cursed with the same affliction: they were all nice enough as people but as potential girlfriends there just wasn’t any spark or chemistry at all. Try as he might he couldn’t fake the slightest interest in their careers, hobbies, outdoor pursuits, countless godchildren and cats (especially their cats).
    But if that wasn’t enough (and Adam felt that it was, thank you very much), now that he had officially sworn off dating the wrong kinds of girls it was as if they were all determined to keep him from the straight and narrow. Wherever he went, whether for an innocent midweek drink with a mate, catching up with his paperwork in a coffee bar or even (as happened on one occasion) buying toothpaste in Superdrug, young girls with beautiful faces and bodies to die for were making eyes at him. But whereas the old Adam would have coaxed them into releasing their phone numbers within a few minutes this new Adam had to bite his lip and head in the direction of the nearest cold shower.
    Now, not only had he not had a date with a potential right kind of girl for over a week but he also had nothing lined up for the future either. He reasoned that the best thing he could do to cheer himself up on a Saturday morning would be to take himself over to Beech Road, find a nice café and treat himself to a slap-up English breakfast. Then he would head to Marks and Spencer on the High Street to hang around their ‘Meal for One’ chill cabinet in the hope of sourcing a few potential right-kind-of-girl dates.
    Quickly getting dressed, he made his way out of the house and ducked into his local newsagent’s to pick up a Daily Mail and the latest issue of Men’s Health . Whiling away his time in the longish queue at the till Adam recalled various snippets of his conversation from his last right-kind-of-girl date (had she really confessed that she called home from work twice a day to leave a message for her cats on the answerphone?) and was oblivious of his surroundings until he looked up to see that the queue appeared to have stalled because the woman directly in front of him was searching around for change to pay for the copy of the Guardian in her hand. Tutting under his breath Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out a two-pound coin.
    ‘Here,’ he said, handing her the coin. ‘Take it.’
    ‘I really couldn’t,’ said the woman, rummaging around the pockets of her vast handbag.
    ‘Go on,’ said Adam. ‘It’ll be my good deed for the day.’
    She looked up and smiled. ‘Thank you. I really don’t know how I could have left the house without—’
    She stopped.
    ‘Adam Baxter!’
    ‘It’s Bachelor,’ he replied. ‘Adam Bachelor and you’re . . .’ He momentarily scanned