After Big Lou leaves for work each morning, the Ratso brothers go to school. Louie is in the fifth grade and Ralphie is in third. They walk to school, because walking is tough. Taking the bus is for softies.
The Ratso brothers don’t talk very much on their way to school. Talking a lot is also for softies. Their father hardly ever talks at all. Big Lou is a man of action, not words.
“Let’s do something,” Louie says to Ralphie. “Something to make us
look
tough.”
“Like what?” Ralphie asks.
“Leave the thinking to me,” says Louie. He considers himself the smart one.
At recess, Louie and Ralphie meet on the playground. They lean against the wall and glare at everyone and take turns spitting on the blacktop. Leaning and glaring and spitting are tough. Running and playing are for softies.
Chad Badgerton is wearing a new hat today. It is red, and it is too small for his head.
Louie has an idea.
“We’d look tough if we took Chad’s hat,” he suggests.
“Chad is bigger than we are,” Ralphie reminds him. “A
lot
bigger.”
“Well, there are two of us, and only one of him,” Louie says.
“Righto,” Ralphie says. He gives his brother a nod.
Ralphie distracts Chad while Louie jumps up and swipes the hat from his head.
“Hey!” cries Chad. “You can’t do that!”
“We just did,” shout the Ratso brothers. “Nyah-nyah!”
“I think I feel tougher,” says Ralphie.
“My head is about to feel warmer, that’s for sure,” says Louie. But before he can put on the hat, Tiny Crawley comes running over, along with Miss Beavers, the third-grade teacher.
“You rescued my hat!” Tiny exclaims. He takes it from Louie.
“
Your
hat?” say the Ratso brothers.
“Chad took it from me on the bus,” Tiny says. “He’s a big bully.”
“That was nice of you boys, sticking up for Tiny,” says Miss Beavers.
“We’re not nice, we’re TOUGH,” Louie tries to explain.
“Nyah-nyah!” Ralphie repeats.
But no one is listening. Instead, everyone on the playground is looking at the Ratso brothers like they’re heroes. Everyone except for Chad Badgerton, who is on his way to the principal’s office.
“I wish
we
were going to the principal’s office,” Ralphie says.
“We need to step up our game,” decides Louie.
When the Ratso brothers wake up, it’s snowing. Everything in the Big City looks like it’s draped in white sheets.
“No school today, boys,” says Big Lou. “The buses can’t get down the roads.”
“Buses are for softies,” says Louie.
“I’m off to do some snowplowing,” grumbles Big Lou. “Hang tough. And try not to get into too much trouble while I’m gone.” He slams the door behind him.
“I have an idea,” says Louie.
“How much trouble will it get us into?” asks Ralphie.
“Plenty,” says Louie. “Let’s go.”
The Ratso brothers put on their snow pants and coats and gloves and boots and scarves and hats. They grab their shovels and go outside. It is still snowing.
“I can’t see,” says Ralphie. “What’s the plan?”
“The plan is that we shovel all the snow from the sidewalk and pile it all up in front of Mr. O’Hare’s store. When he comes down for work this morning, he won’t be able to open the door!”
“That’s mean,” says Ralphie.
“That’s
tough
,” says Louie.
“Righto,” Ralphie says, cracking his knuckles. “Let’s make some trouble.”
The Ratso brothers go out to the sidewalk and begin shoveling. They shovel and shovel and shovel, even when the snow starts falling so heavily they can’t see a thing.
“This is hard work,” says Ralphie.
“It will make us tougher,” says Louie. “Keep shoveling.”
“This way,” says Ralphie.
“No, this way,” says Louie.
“I’m pretty sure it’s this way,” says Ralphie.
“I’m pretty sure I’m the big brother,” says Louie. “
This
way.”
The brothers shovel and shovel until they can’t shovel anymore. They fall back onto a