The Inspector-General by Nikolái Gógol Read Free Book Online Page A

double-faced
people. I like your candor and kind-heartedness exceedingly. And I am
free to say, I ask for nothing else than devotion and esteem—esteem and
devotion.
Scene IX
    The above and the Servant, accompanied by Osip. Bobchinsky peeps in at
the door.
    SERVANT. Did your Honor wish anything?
    KHLESTAKOV. Yes, let me have the bill.
    SERVANT. I gave you the second one a little while ago.
    KHLESTAKOV. Oh, I can't remember your stupid accounts. Tell me what the
whole comes to.
    SERVANT. You were pleased to order dinner the first day. The second day
you only took salmon. And then you took everything on credit.
    KHLESTAKOV. Fool!
(Starts to count it all up now.)
How much is it
altogether?
    GOVERNOR. Please don't trouble yourself. He can wait.
(To the Servant.)
Get out of here. The money will be sent to you.
    KHLESTAKOV. Yes, that's so, of course.
(He puts the money in his
pocket.)
    The Servant goes out. Bobchinsky peeps in at the door.
Scene X
    The Governor, Khlestakov and Dobchinsky.
    GOVERNOR. Would you care to inspect a few institutions in our town
now—the philanthropic institutions, for instance, and others?
    KHLESTAKOV. But what is there to see?
    GOVERNOR. Well, you'll see how they're run—the order in which we keep
them.
    KHLESTAKOV. Oh, with the greatest pleasure. I'm ready.
    Bobchinsky puts his head in at the door.
    GOVERNOR. And then, if you wish, we can go from there and inspect the
district school and see our method of education.
    KHLESTAKOV. Yes, yes, if you please.
    GOVERNOR. Afterwards, if you should like to visit our town jails and
prisons, you will see how our criminals are kept.
    KHLESTAKOV. Yes, yes, but why go to prison? We had better go to see the
philanthropic institutions.
    GOVERNOR. As you please. Do you wish to ride in your own carriage, or
with me in the cab?
    KHLESTAKOV. I'd rather take the cab with you.
    GOVERNOR
(to Dobchinsky)
. Now there'll be no room for you, Piotr
Ivanovich.
    DOBCHINSKY. It doesn't matter. I'll walk.
    GOVERNOR
(aside, to Dobchinsky)
. Listen. Run as fast as you can and take
two notes, one to Zemlianika at the hospital, the other to my wife.
(To
Khlestakov.)
May I take the liberty of asking you to permit me to write
a line to my wife to tell her to make ready to receive our honored
guest?
    KHLESTAKOV. Why go to so much trouble? However, there is the ink. I
don't know whether there is any paper. Would the bill do?
    GOVERNOR. Yes, that'll do.
(Writes, talking to himself at the
same time.)
We'll see how things will go after lunch and several
stout-bellied bottles. We have some Russian Madeira, not much to look
at, but it will knock an elephant off its legs. If I only knew what he
is and how much I have to be [on] my guard.
    He finishes writing and gives the notes to Dobchinsky. As the latter
walks across the stage, the door suddenly falls in, and Bobchinsky
tumbles in with it to the floor. All exclaim in surprise. Bobchinsky
rises.
    KHLESTAKOV. Have you hurt yourself?
    BOBCHINSKY. Oh, it's nothing—nothing at all—only a little bruise on my
nose. I'll run in to Dr. Hübner's. He has a sort of plaster. It'll
soon pass away.
    GOVERNOR
(making an angry gesture at Bobchinsky. To Khlestakov)
. Oh,
it's nothing. Now, if you please, sir, we'll go. I'll tell your servant
to carry your luggage over.
(Calls Osip.)
Here, my good fellow, take all
your master's things to my house, the Governor's. Anyone will tell you
where it is. By your leave, sir.
(Makes way for Khlestakov and follows
him; then turns and says reprovingly to Bobchinsky.)
Couldn't you find
some other place to fall in? Sprawling out here like a lobster!
    Goes out. After him Bobchinsky. Curtain falls.

Act III
*
    SCENE: The same as in Act I.
Scene I
    Anna Andreyevna and Marya Antonovna standing at the window in the same
positions as at the end of Act I.
    ANNA. There now! We've been waiting a whole hour. All on account of your
silly prinking. You were completely dressed, but no, you have to keep
on dawdling.—Provoking! Not a