The Island of Excess Love by Francesca Lia Block Read Free Book Online

eyes are still red. I go and put my arm around his shoulders; he feels thinner than usual.
    â€œWell, we’re not going back out there,” says Venice. “We may have to burn it like Hex said.”
    I’ve never heard my brother sound so assertive, as if the experience on the ship changed him, let him see that in some way he is stronger than all of us. Hex is looking at him differently, too. Not as a child but as a peer.
    â€œI’m not going near it,” Ez says. “I told you to stay away from it and you didn’t listen.” His voice has risen in pitch and I see Hex’s eyes get bigger and his lips tighten like they’re on a drawstring.
    â€œThis is all bullshit,” he says. “I need to go meditate.”
    I start to join him but something in his face tells me not to and I go to the window instead. I can see the wooden horse rear up on the prow of the ship as it moves in the water.
    *   *   *
    Hex seems to be avoiding me all night. When he finally comes to bed I feel an exhale of relief move through my whole body. But he turns his face to the wall. I ask him what’s wrong.
    â€œI don’t want to talk about it,” he says. “Can we just not talk for once?”
    I can’t not talk. And since when doesn’t Hex want to talk to me? “Why did you think I was your mother?” I say, in spite of myself.
    He sits up in bed and glares at me. “Why do you think? I was fucked up. I might as well have been high.”
    â€œIs that what this is about? You think you got high again? It wasn’t anyone’s fault. We didn’t know this would happen.”
    â€œThat’s not the point. I don’t like being out of control.”
    But Hex , I think, we’re always out of control. Look around you.
    â€œYour mother was out of control,” I say instead. “But you’re not her. And neither am I.” Hex has told me that his mother would leave him alone all the time when he was little and that when she was home she was so drunk or high she hardly knew who he was. She had black hair and green eyes and pale skin like Hex’s; I saw a vision of her once, staggering around the house in a silk nightgown with a bottle of liquor, reciting Shakespeare. He hated her. I remember the way he looked at me on the ship, like he wanted to harm me. It’s hard to forget that look, even if he didn’t realize it was me.
    â€œJust go to sleep,” he says, as if he still doesn’t know who I am.
    *   *   *
    We wake to a shaking and I think, This is it again, another Earth Shaker. Another one. It’s here.
    The whole house is moving and then I hear Venice call out.
    â€œGiant!”
    It’s not just a nightmare. As I run downstairs I can see the Giant coming toward us through the window. He staggers blind, his hands out in front of him. He’s sniffing the air, like he’s tracking me, my scent, no one else’s. I’m the one who blinded him and killed his father.
    My hair stands up on my head; my voice catches in my throat.
    I don’t remember how my friends and my brother and dog and I get out of the house but somehow we are outside in the mournful gray dawn and Bull is still coming toward us. I grab Venice’s hand. He has Argos, and Hex and Ez and Ash are with us and we are running through the mud.
    We are running toward the ship because there’s nowhere else to go, or at least that’s what the ship is telling us, calling us to it, beckoning us back. The horse on the prow rears out of the water, sea foam frothing from its mouth like the beast has gone mad.
    Where’s Merk? I think but it’s too late and I’m at the ship and climbing the rocks, clambering over the side onto the deck.
    Ghosts , Merk said.
    I hear a shot and turn around and there’s Merk, running toward us, backwards, shooting his rifle at Bull but Bull keeps coming. How will we ever sail