The Jump by Doug Johnstone Read Free Book Online

could take, depending on what she did right now. The multiverse theory. But there were too many variables, too many potential futures, she couldn’t get her head round it. She just needed everything to settle down, needed time and space to think it all through, then she could be sure about making the correct decision.
    Meantime she had to keep it a secret, even from Ben. Before Logan died she could never have imagined keeping secrets from her husband, they were such a tight unit, best friends as much as lovers. Their relationship didn’t feel like either of those things now. She didn’t want to keep this a secret from him but the truth was that it would be easy. Their lines of communication had been eroded so much it made her want to weep right here in her kitchen, in the house they shared. But mostly, right now, she wanted him out the house so that she could deal with everything at her own pace.
    Ben shook his head. ‘Mental.’ Refresh, refresh. ‘Doesn’t look as if there’s much new info coming out.’ He straightened up.
    ‘Why did you come back?’ Ellie said.
    ‘What?’
    She pointed at the laptop. ‘Couldn’t you have checked all that on your phone?’
    ‘I needed to get more of these.’ He pointed at the pile of flyers on the far corner of the table. ‘I ran out quicker than I thought. Still got a fair bit of leafleting to do.’
    The kettle had boiled.
    ‘Don’t you want to stay for a cuppa?’
    He looked at her. ‘I can’t believe you’re not more interested in this thing up at Inchcolm Terrace.’
    She shook her head. ‘We don’t know any of the facts. I prefer to wait until I know what’s happened before I get outraged about anything.’
    ‘But someone’s been stabbed, ten minutes up the road,’ he said. ‘A cop, that’s crazy.’
    She slung a green teabag into a mug, poured in the water, felt the steam swirl around her face.
    ‘Maybe,’ she said.
    ‘Don’t you want to know what happened, the details?’
    She shook her head as she dipped the teabag in and out of the mug. ‘Dwelling on the details doesn’t make any difference to the truth, does it?’
    She felt him looking at her as she kept her head down. It made her uneasy, and she couldn’t believe that being watched by her husband, the man who was supposed to be the love of her life, made her feel like that.
    ‘You’re talking about Logan now,’ Ben said.
    She sighed as she carried the teabag to the bin, her other hand under the spoon to stop drips on the tiles.
    ‘I’m always talking about Logan, Ben. Everything is always about Logan, you know that. You know what it’s like. It’s always there, in every single word that comes out of our mouths.’
    He came towards her and she felt the muscles in her neck and back tighten as he stroked her arm. His hand was right where the new tattoo was. She wondered if that was deliberate, if he was trying to hurt her. No, just an accident, his touch was meant to be supportive. He was rubbing at the ink under the surface of her skin, and she felt like she deserved the discomfort. She flinched but didn’t move away.
    ‘I know what you mean,’ he said. ‘It’s just . . .’
    He squeezed her shoulder, more pain under her clothes, then he placed his lips against her temple, kept them there for a second. For a moment his bulk was reassuring, the smell of him, and she felt a remnant of the gravitational pull that used to draw her to him.
    He pushed himself away, checked Twitter one last time then closed the laptop. Picked up the flyers from the table and put them in his bag.
    ‘I’d better get going,’ he said.
    She stirred her tea. ‘OK.’
    He hesitated a moment, silence between them, then left.

9
    Sam stood at Logan’s window staring at the road bridge. Ellie watched him. He hadn’t turned when she opened the door, as if he was transfixed by the view. She imagined Logan standing on the same spot, gazing out to sea. Was that all it was, proximity? Had Logan killed himself