The Lightstep

The Lightstep by John Dickinson Read Free Book Online

Book: The Lightstep by John Dickinson Read Free Book Online
Authors: John Dickinson
willing. And he's going to write to the Prince and have
him offer you a commission – a commission, mind you – in the glorious
regiments of Erzberg. You must take it, Michel! It will be rare fun to have
a rebel and a democrat in our ranks. The more we can get, the better, I
say.'
    A rebel and a democrat. Something in Albrecht had
transcended all politics, so that it had been possible to like and
respect – even love – a man who should have been an enemy.
Now the man was lost; and he was a dog; and his leash was held
by men with hearts as corrupt as a row of month-old corpses.
    God damn, damn, damn, damn! Damn them all to hell!
    A voice sobbed. It was his. He shook his fists, not knowing
what he was doing. He jammed his right hand into his mouth
and bit upon it. He bit hard, hard to make the pain come.
Something gave, and there was blood on his tongue. Warm,
salty . . .
    He drew a long, shaky breath, and looked at what he had
done. The marks of his teeth were livid, white and red. He
had broken the skin in two places, below the first finger joint and
at the base of the thumb. Blood, bright red and fresh, was
beginning to trickle across his hand. It hurt.
    Stupid. But . . .
    On the blotched skin there were the other, older marks, dull
and pale beside the new wounds. The same teeth, the same rage.
Different causes, and so many of them to do with his own
failures. He could no longer remember which he had done
when. There had been the time he had heard that the French had
fired on crowds in Brussels; the time he had heard of the
annexation; the time when, drunk on the Rhine, he had remembered
his own words in Paris. The white scars overlapped one
another, blending into one, gnawing rage.
    Wéry knew himself to be sane. He knew that aristocracy must
be destroyed. The Catholic Church, as it was constituted, must be
destroyed. But the French republic had to be destroyed first, and
most completely of all. If it could not be destroyed, it must be
opposed and opposed and opposed, with every weapon available.
It must be opposed because of the tyrannies it had set up in the
Lowlands, and now in the Rhineland, which had so corrupted
the republican causes there that the people would welcome their
former imperial overlords in relief if the Empire were ever able
to return. It must be opposed because so long as it existed, with
its string of crimes around its neck, all the old order of Europe –
all these mincing aristocrats with their manners and quarterings
– might point to it and say,'See what comes of democracy!'
    Agh!
    That was why he fought for the powers that had once been
his enemies. Only when the slate was wiped clean could their fate
be considered again.
    He knew himself to be sane, but he could explain himself to
no one. Even Albrecht had laughed at him gently And so many
times he had drawn his own blood, since the first night that he
had bitten his hand and wept in the winey cellars of Paris.
    Stupid!
    What passion are you slave to, Captain?
    He was bleeding now. If he was not quick he would leave
stains on the carpet, on top of everything else he had done. His
handkerchief was not the cleanest, but . . .
    He was still trying to knot it one-handed when he heard a step
and the rustle of skirts approaching again. The door opened. The
sister of Albrecht entered the room. Quickly he hid hand behind his
back, keeping the rag in place with his thumb, and bowed. As he did
so a voice somewhere in the house called,'Maria!'
    'Sir,' she said to him. 'I beg you to forgive me for my delay.'
    She offered him her hand.
    He hesitated. Of course he must take her hand with his right,
and his right was bleeding, wrapped in a dirty handkerchief
behind his back.
    She saw his hesitation and frowned.
    Cursing to himself, he snatched at her hand with his left and
bowed over it awkwardly, as if he were unschooled and performing
the courtesy for the first time. He straightened in time to
catch the look that flickered across her face. And his anger

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