The List by Joanna Bolouri Read Free Book Online

submissive. Might be interesting …’
    â€˜This stuff doesn’t faze you at all, does it?’
    â€˜Nah, why should it? It’s only sex.’
    â€˜I have no idea if I’ll actually have the nerve to do all of this. Sleeping with you was nerve-racking enough! Let’s promise that things won’t get weird between us, OK?’
    â€˜It’ll be fine, Phoebe. Stop worrying. Don’t over-think it. Oh, and I have no problem with watching you with someone else. A girl would be preferable. Just saying …’
    â€˜You’ll have me running a bisexual dungeon by the end of this. Anything else?’
    â€˜Yes,’ he said, running his hand down my thigh, ‘we’re doing that again.’
    He left sharpish after the second round and it was then I fully realized that this was definitely just a friendly arrangement for him; he kissed me on the cheek, just as he always does. There was no lingering kiss goodbye, nohand-holding, just a peck on the cheek and some joke about me needing a shave. The passion had gone, and we were back to being mates. This is something I’ll have to get my head around, as I’ll admit it brought me back down to earth with a thud.
    Sunday January 23rd
    Oliver and I had sex again this evening. I’ve gone from having no sex at all to having ALL THE SEX in a very short space of time. I’m ace. I cannot wait until we actually start my list.
    The first time we shagged in my bed, which was polite and sweet really. Then I walked out of my room, naked, to get some water and he followed me in to the kitchen where we did it over the worktops. I was unsettled for a second when I found myself face down in toast crumbs, but then he started whispering delicious obscenities in my ear. I tried to return the favour, but failed miserably: ‘Fucking prick.’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Erm, nothing. Carry on.’
    How embarrassing. I need some help with this. Perhaps now is a good time to embrace my first challenge: talking dirty.
    Monday January 24th
    Hazel and Grace were shopping in town today so I met them at lunchtime for a quick bite, which for me was half a cheese toastie and a large glass of wine.
    â€˜What are you up to tonight?’ Hazel asked, giving Grace a crust to gnaw on.
    â€˜Bugger all. I’ll probably end up having a bath and watching
EastEnders
.’
    â€˜Oh good. Then you can come to the gym with me instead.’
    I stared at Hazel for a second and then laughed. ‘Piss off; you know how much I hate the gym and I got my period this morning. My cramp says no.’
    â€˜But we used to have fun when we went.’
    â€˜No, you used to have fun; I was always on the verge of having a stroke.’
    â€˜But I’m carrying a lot of baby weight—’
    â€˜Put her down then! Ha, look! INSTANTLY ten pounds lighter! You look exactly the same as you’ve always done, and sometimes this makes it difficult for me to like you.’
    â€˜Fine then, but if you change your mind, there’s a yoga class on at eight.’
    â€˜Yoga? Don’t you remember what happened when I took that yoga class last year?’
    She was already laughing. ‘That poor woman who farted, she must have been mortified.’
    I was now mildly hysterical. ‘It wasn’t just the fart, it was the length of it. It was like a trombone solo.’
    â€˜I think you might be the first person to be thrown out of a yoga class for laughing.’
    I tried to compose myself. ‘This is the very reason I won’t go back. Even the thought of it makes me wet myself. I wouldn’t last two minutes before they forcibly removed me from the sports centre.’
    Hazel pulled Grace’s jacket on and started packing away her things. ‘Fine, I’ll go myself, but please be aware that you are a terrible friend for making me do this alone.’
    â€˜You’ll have the last laugh when you’re all fit and toned and