spring evening. Claire, looking behind from the back window of the taxi cab, glimpsed the huge French windows of the apartment, flung open to the night, exuding a glow and the noise of music and chatter and cigar smoke drifting upward into the hazy night.
D ad never came up to my room, not since I was about twelve or so. It was my sanctum, my escape from the boys. Also, he just isnât the kind of dad that goes in for long chats. Heâs the kind of dad that makes really awful jokes to your friends and makes sure your bike chain is oiled up and gets a bit pink in the face at Christmas and doesnât remove his party hat all day. I doubt heâs said âI love youâ in his entire life, not even to Mum. I know he does, though, so it totally doesnât matter. He also spends his life calling the boys buggers, but I knew he was proud of me when I got promoted at Braders.
Anyway, my mum had been rabbiting on about what I was going to do and what I was up to and what my future was going to be, and even hearing it was so exhaustingâIâd lost two toes. I wasnât paralyzed or in a wheelchair; I didnât even qualify for a blue parking badge for my dadâs car (much to Mumâs evident disappointment, seriously).
Then Mum read something in one of her magazines and decided I was âdepressedâ and started muttering about seeing someone and that was annoying too, because depression is a horrid illness that people get and not a way to describe feeling a bit sad when youâve lost a bit of you off the end, which, in my opinion, is a totally natural way of thinking and doesnât need to be talked through: âIâm sad because Iâve had my toes chopped off.â âOh yes, quite right, thatâll be sixty pounds please.â Or, heaven forbid, put me on drugs or something. But then again, I couldnât deny that I didnât really feel myself. Have you ever had a really bad hangover thatâs gone into a second day? Well, it was like that second day. I just couldnât summon up the energy to do the million and one things I knew I needed to do. There were just so many things.
Dad knocked quietly, which was interesting, as Mum never knocks and the boys never drop by, just holler from the bottom of the stairs.
âHello, love,â he said, proffering me a cup of tea. I wouldnât say we were a really old-fashioned family, but one thing was for sure: Dad never made the tea.
âDid you make this?â I said, eyeing it suspiciously.
âYes,â said my dad quickly. âTwo sugars?â
He must have asked Mum.
âCan I come in?â
âItâs your house,â I said, surprised. He looked nervous. Worse than that, before he sat down, he carefully removed two wrapped chocolate cookies from his pocket. I looked up at him.
âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothingâs wrong.â
âSomethingâs wrong, if it needs a chocolate cookie. Tell me, quickly.â
My dad shook his head. âI just thought youâd like a chocolate cookie.â
I just stared at him, unconvinced.
âListen,â he said. âI got a call from your teacher friendâ¦â
âSheâs not my teacher anymore,â I said.
âSounds like sheâs been teaching you a few things,â he said, sitting at my white vanity unit. He looked strange there. The back of his head reflected in the mirror; he was getting really bald back there.
I shrugged.
âJust something to do, you know.â
He glanced on my bed, where there were several French books Claire had lent me that Iâd been puzzling through with the help of a massive dictionary. It was a slow, boring business, but light was beginning to dawn.
âWell,â he said, âshe says sheâs offered you a job.â
I shook my head. âShe hasnât really. She just knows someoneâ¦or she used to know him. It was ages ago. She reckons I might
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