The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan Read Free Book Online

contemplate. But one morning, I gave in. You were asleep, and I imagined you older and older. Your hair graying, your skin folded and creased, your breath catching. And I found myself thinking: If this continues, if this goes on, then when I die, your memories of me will be my greatest accomplishment. Your memories will be my most lasting impression.

punctuate , v.
    Cue the imaginary interviewer:
    Q: So when all is said and done, what have you learned here?
    A: The key to a successful relationship isn’t just in the words, it’s in the choice of punctuation. When you’re in love with someone, a well-placed question mark can be the difference between bliss and disaster, and a deeply respected period or a cleverly inserted ellipsis can prevent all kinds of exclamations.

Q
    qualm , n.
    There is no reason to make fun of me for flossing twice a day.

quintessence , n.
    It’s the way you say thank you like you’re genuinely thankful. I have never met anyone else who does that on a regular basis.

quixotic , adj.
    Finally, I said, “It’s over.”
    You started to cry, and I quickly said, “No — I mean this part is over. We have to get to the next part.”
    And you said, “I’m not sure we can.”

R
    rapprochement , n.
    I remember my grandmother saying, “You have to let the cake cool before you frost it.”

raze , v.
    It sounded like you were lifting me, but it all fell.

recant , v.
    I want to take back at least half of the “I love you”s, because I didn’t mean them as much as the other ones. I want to take back the book of artsy photos I gave you, because you didn’t get it and said it was hipster trash. I want to take back what I said about you being an emotional zombie. I want to take back the time I called you “honey” in front of your sister and you looked like I had just shown her pictures of us having sex. I want to take back the wineglass I broke when I was mad, because it was a nice wineglass and the argument would have ended anyway. I want to take back the time we had sex in a rent-a-car, not because I feel bad about the people who got the car after us, but because it was massively uncomfortable. I want to take back the trust I had while you were away in Austin. I want to take back the time I said you were a genius, because I was being sarcastic and I should have just said you’d hurt my feelings. I want to take back the secrets I told you so I can decide now whether to tell them to you again. I want to take back the piece of me that lies in you, to see if I truly miss it. I want to take back at least half the “I love you”s, because it feels safer that way.

reservation , n.
    There are times when I worry that I’ve already lost myself. That is, that my self is so inseparable from being with you that if we were to separate, I would no longer be. I save this thought for when I feel the darkest discontent. I never meant to depend so much on someone else.

rest , v. and n.
    Rest with me for the rest of this.
    That’s it. Come closer.
    We’re here.

retrospective , n.
    I catch you checking out some guy on the street. This is no big deal, because we both like to look at other people when we’re walking around. But this time it’s not an observational thrill on your face. You notice me noticing, and you say, “He just looked like someone I know.”
    A week later, we’re going through photographs, and there he is, hiking through Appalachia with you. It wasn’t him on the street, but it was definitely him on your mind. I wonder why you said “someone I know” instead of “someone I knew.”
    Two days after that, I’m walking along alone, and I see someone who looks like the someone who reminded you of him. I feel the irrational desire to pull this stranger aside and make sure he doesn’t know you.

reverberate , v.
    Why did your father leave?

rifle , v.
    You told me to get the money for the pizza from your wallet. So I had permission, I swear. You were five dollars short, but your