The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore Read Free Book Online

over a drawer full of money.
    CatfishJefferson put down his National steel guitar and picked up the two-gallon pickle jar that held his tips. Dollar bills spilled over the top, change skated in the bottom, and here and there in the middle fives and tens struggled for air. There was even a twenty down there, and Catfish dug in after it like a kid going for a Cracker Jack prize. He carried the jar to the bar and plopped down next to Estelle, who was gloriously, eloquently crocked.
    "Hey, baby," Catfish said. "You like the Blues?"
    Estelle searched the air for the source of the question, as if it might have come from a moth spiraling around one of the lights behind the bar. Her gaze finally settled on the Bluesman and she said, "You're very good. I was going to leave, but I liked the music."
    "Well, you donestayed now," Catfish said. "Look at this." He shook the money jar. "I got me upward o' two hundred dollar here, and that mean old woman owe me least that much too. What you say we take a pint and my guitar and go down to the beach, have us a party?"
    "I'd better get home," Estelle said. "I have to paint in the morning."
    "You a painter?I never knowed me a painter.What you say we go down to the beach and watch us a sunrise?"
    "Wrong coast," Estelle said. "The sun comes up over the mountains."
    Catfish laughed. "See, you done saved me a heap of waiting already. Let's you and me go down to the beach."
    "No, I can't."
    "It 'cause I'm Black, ain't it?"
    "No."
    "'Cause I'm old, right?"
    "No."
    "'Cause I'm bald.You don't like old bald men, right?"
    "No," Estelle said.
    "'Cause I'm a musician.You heardwe irresponsible?"
    "No."
    "'Cause I'm hung like a bull, right?"
    "No!" Estelle said.
    Catfish laughed again. "Well, you wouldn't mind spreadin that one around town just the same, would you?"
    "How would I know how you're hung?"
    "Well," Catfish said, pausing and grinning, "you could go to the beach with me."
    "You are a nasty and persistent old man, aren't you, Mr. Jefferson?" Estelle asked.
    Catfish bowed his shining head, "I truly am, miss. I truly am nasty and persistent. And I am too old to be trouble. Iadmits it." He held out a long, thin hand. "Let's have us a party on the beach."
    Estelle felt like she'd just been bamboozled by the devil.Something smooth and vibrant under that gritty old down-home shuck. Was this the dark shadow her paintings kept finding in the surf?
    She took his hand. "Let's go to the beach."
    "Ha!" Catfish said.
    Mavis pulled a Louisville Slugger from behind the bar and held it out to Estelle. "Here, you wanna borrow this?"
    They found a niche in the rocks that sheltered them from the wind. Catfish dumped sand from his wing tips and shook his socks out before laying them out to dry.
    "That was a sneaky old wave."
    "I told you to take off your shoes," Estelle said. She was more amused than she felt she had a right to
    be. A few sips from Catfish's pint had kept the cheap white wine from going sour in her stomach. She was warm, despite the chill wind. Catfish, on the other hand, looked miserable.
    "Never did like the ocean much," Catfish said."Too many sneaky things down there. Give a manthe creeps, that's what it does."
    "If you don't like the ocean, then why did you ask me to come to the beach?"
    "The tall man said you like to paint pictures of the beach."
    "Lately, the ocean's been giving me a bit of the creeps too. My paintings have gone dark."
    Catfish wiped sand from between his toes with a long finger. "You think you can paint the Blues?"
    "Youever seen Van Gogh?"
    Catfish looked out to sea. A three-quarter moon was pooling like mercury out there. "Van Gogh…
    Van Gogh…fiddle player outtaSt. Louis?"
    "That's him," Estelle said.
    Catfish snatched the pint out of her hand and grinned. "Girl, you drink a man's liquor and lie to him too. I know who Vincent Van Gogh is."
    Estelle couldn't remember the last time she'd been called a girl, but she was pretty sure she hadn't liked hearing it as much as she did