The Meaning of Liff by Douglas Adams, John Lloyd Read Free Book Online Page A

a handkerchief.
     
    SILESIA (n. medical)
    The inability to remember, at the critical moment, which is the better side of a boat to be seasick off.
     
    SILLOTH (n.)
    Something that was sticky, and is now furry, found on the carpet under the sofa the morning after a party.
     
    SIMPRIM (n.)
    The little movement of false modesty by which a girl with a cavernous visible cleavage pulls her skirt down over her knees.
     
    SITTINGBOURNE (n.)
    One of those conversions where both people are waiting for the other one to shut up so they can get on with their bit.
     
    SKEGNESS (n.)
    Nose excreta of a malleable consistency.
     
    SKELLOW (adj.)
    Descriptive of the satisfaction experienced when looking at a really good dry-stone wall.
     
    SKENFRITH (n.)
    The flakes of athlete's foot found inside socks.
     
    SKETTY (n.)
    Apparently self-propelled little dance a beer glass performs in its own puddle.
     
    SKIBBEREEN (n.)
    The noise made by a sunburned thighs leaving plastic chair.
     
    SLIGO (n.)
    An unnamed and exotic sexual act which people like to believe that famous films stars get up to in private. 'To commit slingo.'
     
    SLOGARIE (n.)
    Hillwalking dialect for the seven miles of concealed rough moorland which lie between what you though was the top of the hill and what actually is.
     
    SLUBBERY (n.)
    The gooey drips of wax that dribble down the sides of a candle so beloved by Italian restaurants with Chianti bottles instead of wallpaper.
     
    SLUGGAN (n.)
    A lurid facial bruise which everyone politely omits to mention because it's obvious that you had a punch-up with your spouse last night - but which into a door. It is useless to volunteer the true explanation because nobody will believe it.
     
    SLUMBAY (n.)
    The cigarette end someone discovers in the mouthful of lager they have just swigged from a can at the end of party.
     
    SMARDEN (vb.)
    To keep your mouth shut by smiling determinedly through you teeth. Smardening is largely used by people trying to give the impression that they're enjoying a story they've heard at least six times before.
     
    SMEARISARY (n.)
    The correct name for a junior apprentice greengrocer whose main duty is to arrange the fruit so that the bad side is underneath. From the name of a character not in Dickens.
     
    SNEEM (n.,vb.)
    Particular kind of frozen smile bestowed on a small child by a parent in mixed company when question, 'Mummy, what's this?' appears to require the answer,' Er...it's a rubber johnny, darling'.
     
    SNITTER (n.)
    One of the rather unfunny newspaper clippings pinned to an office wall, the humour of which is supposed to derive from the fact that the headline contains a name similar to that of one of the occupants to the office.
     
    SNITTERBY (n.)
    Someone who pins snitters (q.v.) on to snitterfields (q.v.) and is also suspected of being responsible for the extinction of virginstows (q.v.)
     
    SNITTERFIELD (n.)
    Office noticeboard on which snitters (q.v.), cards saying 'You don't have to be mad to work here, but if you are it helps !!!' and slightly smutty postcards from Ibiza get pinned up by snitterbies (q.v.)
     
    SOLENT (adj.)
    Descriptive of the state of serene self-knowledge reached through drink.
     
    SOTTERLEY (n,)
    Uncovered bit between two shops with awnings, which you have to cross when it's raining.
     
    SPITTAL OF GLENSHEE (n.)
    That which has to be cleaned off castle floors in the morning after a bagpipe contest or vampire attack.
     
    SPOFFORTH (vb.)
    To tidy up a room before the cleaning lady arrives.
     
    SPROSTON GREEN (n.)
    The violent colour of one of Nigel Rees's jackets, worn when he thinks he's being elegant.
     
    STEBBING (n.)
    The erection you cannot conceal because you're not wearing a jacket.
     
    STOKE POGES (n.)
    The tapping moments of an index finger on glass made by a person futilely attempting to communicate with either a tropical fish or a post office clerk.
     
    STURRY (n.,vb.)
    A token run. Pedestrians who have chosen to cross a road immediately