The Morbidly Obese Ninja by Carlton Mellick III Read Free Book Online Page B

the Gomen ninja, Basu was ready to collapse. He was a powerful killing machine when fighting in quick bursts, but he didn’t have a lot of stamina. Running long distances took a lot out of him.
    When Crow saw the state of Basu, he squawked a laugh. “You’re not the warrior you used to be, Keigo.”
    When Basu looked up, he saw Oki was with Crow. The boy was backed against a wall of ancient washing machines. The wrecked hover-scooter he had used to make his escape was on the ground twenty feet away. He was holding Basu’s smiling cyber-frog in his arms like a teddybear, tears falling down his cheeks. When Oki saw the obese ninja, his face lit up.
    “Bus!” Oki cried.
    Crow held the struggling child still.
    Basu stood up and held out his iKatana in one hand, his other hand holding the stab wound on his hip. Even after he developed his weight problem, he had never failed a mission before. He would not let Crow get away with the piggy bank.
    “Kill him off before he catches his breath,” Crow told the four Gomen ninjas next to him.
    The Gomen came at him quickly. The way they weaved through each other, flying like jets in formation, Basu could tell these were not ordinary ninjas. They were elite assassins. One of them wore a blue hood tucked into his polo shirt, one wore a red hood, another wore yellow, and the last wore purple.
    Although he would have no trouble dispatching any elite assassin in single combat, Basu knew it would be suicide to fight a group of them while they were in formation. In any other circumstance he would have chosen to retreat and wait for backup to arrive, but this time he didn’t have any other option but to fight them head on. If he could kill just one of them, that would weaken their formation enough to give Basu a chance. This was the strategy he chose as they swooped in on him like vultures.
    The lead assassin with the red hood broke away from the group and darted toward Basu as the others circled around him. Once he was in range, Basu took his hand from his hip wound and splashed blood into Red Hood’s eyes. Then he swung his iKatana.
    As the iKatana was about to make contact with Red Hood, Basu’s heart began to pump hard in his chest, as if the organ was struggling to break free from his ribcage. The force of Basu’s attack weakened. It felt to Basu as if his arm had started moving in slow motion. His horrible blood pressure had finally caught up to him.
    As the blade came down toward Red Hood, the assassin’s body exploded into black smoke and disappeared. Basu’s sword fell through the smoke without making contact. Then Red Hood reappeared on the right side of Basu and drove his iKatana through the obese man’s sword arm. Basu cried out, pulling his arm off of the blade. Then he sloppily swung his sword at the assassin, breathing rapidly as his heart pounded. Red Hood disappeared again.
    Before Basu could see him reappearing on his left, the assassin knocked Basu’s iKatana out of his hand and then pierced the blade into his enormous belly.
    “Bus!” cried Oki, struggling in Crow’s arms as the morbidly obese ninja fell to the ground.

The assassins hovered over Basu as a pool of blood formed beneath his mountain of flesh. Once they agreed he was dead, they started back toward Crow. But Basu was not yet dead. He had so much fat on his body that even though the assassin’s sword went all the way into his body, the blade still wasn’t long enough to hit any major organs. The morbidly obese ninja pushed himself up onto his hands and knees.
    When Crow saw him struggling to stand, he found it amusing. “You still have fight in you, eh Keigo? How many times must I have you killed before you actually die, you fat piece of shit?”
    Basu grunted. It was a soft wheezing grunt. As his heart continued to pound, rivers of sweat poured down his mounds of flesh, mixing with his blood, drenching his clothing.
    Crow flicked his beak at his men and the elite assassins returned to finish