The Mummies of Blogspace9

The Mummies of Blogspace9 by William Doonan Read Free Book Online

Book: The Mummies of Blogspace9 by William Doonan Read Free Book Online
Authors: William Doonan
now, so I’ll be brief. Blunt too. Shut this thing down, Bruce. I don’t want any more of our material flowing out into cyberspace. You never know who might be paying attention.
    This is raw archaeological data we are developing, and it is of great value. I know I signed off on this blog thing, but this is still my project, and I want my information pipeline capped.
    Here’s why: information has been/will be/should be controlled. It’s not for every-day consumption. Do you think the Inca emperors cared about sharing knowledge with the masses when they devised their quipus, the most complex record-keeping system ever created by humans? Do you think the Maya lords let any old farmer peruse their tax roles? What do you think Pharaoh Ramses II was thinking when he had his scribes adorn Karnak with more Byzantine words than any king had yet written in stone?
    These men were living gods, and they understood one important aspect of power: control your information. Fail to do that, and you never know who is going to start poking around your business. And once you start worrying about that, you’ll do little else. You’ll worry all the time. You’ll fail to pay attention to details, and the Huns will come. Or the Assyrians, or the Romans, or the Spanish. But the point is, someone will come.
    So can we please shut down this internet experiment before we let someone in that we’d rather not let in? It’s bad enough we now have a 19th-century Spanish gunfighter sitting out by the pool with spurs and a Mai Tai.

June 17, 2011
Segovia, Peru
Michelle Cavalcante
    Say what you need to, Cyrus, but as you know, grants are not as lucrative as they once were. And if you recall, the Ministry of Culture refused to give us excavation permits unless we agreed to Blogspace9 ’s involvement. You know as well as I do that money changed hands there. I’m not afraid to write it. Somebody paid somebody off. Can you pass that yellow hot sauce, Cyrus? You hanging over me watching me type is not going to change what I type.
    The world is changing, Cyrus. The axis of information has shifted dramatically since you were in graduate school back during the Paleolithic. Information is still power, but that power now comes from sharing rather than hoarding. That’s something the Inca never realized. That’s something the Egyptians never suspected. That’s something the Maya never dreamed of.
    The kings of old were paranoid sociopaths, more concerned with their own fragile thrones than with the larger more glorious pictures that were everywhere before them. The professors of old were no different. But those kings are long gone, Cyrus. And those old professors are on their way out, soon to be replaced by a vast army of underpaid, uninsured, unloved adjunct professors who will, in short time, be chewed up by academia and become alcoholics.
    You want to wait, Cyrus? You want to process your data, and then sit back and write an article for Latin American Antiquity, circulation 1, 600? Light your tiny candle, big guy! As of this morning, our hit counter is at 702, 429. Almost three quarters of a million people are going to read the words I am typing right now. I’m only thirty-two years old, and I have more people paying attention to me than all the Inca emperors combined ever did. Now pass me the damn yellow hot sauce.
    Thank you.
    In any case, Blogspace9 gave us a lot of money. So, if you want to cancel our agreement, and take a chance at losing our permits, then have at it. Go get us some grants. On the other hand, you own three houses, Cyrus. Sell two and pay us what we’re worth.
    Bruce: I’m going to send you the scans that Kim is pulling off this infrared light box or whatever it is. We’re still trying to figure out where it came from, but you’re not going to believe how much of the lettering is legible now.
    Leon is here and he wants to write something. I think he wants to tell you about his new man crush. I can’t yet tell who is more taken

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