The One That Got Away by Lucy Dawson Read Free Book Online

in.’
    ‘
That
was his excuse?’ my ex-colleague froze – her baby held above her knees, mid-bounce – as she looked at me incredulously the
     following day. ‘Tidying up?’
    ‘It wasn’t an excuse.’ I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. ‘Dan does loads of stuff around the house.’
    Anita raised an eyebrow as if that in itself was deeply suspicious. ‘So let me ask you a question.’ She settled her son down
     on her lap and handed him a breadstick.‘You walk into a room and someone’s holding a gun and a dead cat: you’re seriously telling me you think it’s been run over?’
    ‘That’s my point,’ I said patiently. ‘Of course everyone would automatically assume it had been shot. It doesn’t mean it actually
     was.’ Hmmm, she wasn’t seeing the funny side, I had misjudged my audience. ‘It was just one of those weird things!’
    Anita looked at me half pityingly and half like she thought I was completely insane.
    ‘Okkkkayy,’ she said. ‘But you still made him fill all of the condoms with water, right?’
    I hesitated.
    ‘Oh you are
kidding
me!’ Her mouth fell open so wide I could see fillings. Her little boy, as he sucked on his fingers, suddenly tired of our
     conversation and began to wriggle around on her lap emitting cross little squawks. I sympathised, I was beginning to feel
     much the same.
    ‘Why would I have made him fill them with water?’
    ‘Ah –
I
get it!’ her eyes gleamed. ‘You just bought some new condoms and threw the others away so he was none the wiser didn’t you?
     You’re right. Two can play at that game, can’t they!’ She nudged me.
    It was my turn to look at her like she was crazy. ‘I don’t actually think Dan stuck a pin in the condom,’ I said very slowly,
     so she understood.
    There was a pause.
    ‘You didn’t throw them away either, did you? I don’t believe it!’ she exclaimed and then chortled with disbelief.It was then that I realised this was going to be served up alongside the banana cake at her next mums’ coffee morning: ‘Don’t
     say anything, because I really shouldn’t be talking about it, but a friend of mine found her husband …’ she’d pause for effect
     while everyone sat up, their appetites whetted; ‘in their
bedroom
… pin in one hand, condom in the other … I know, I
know!
’
    ‘Well,’ she sniggered. ‘I guess we’ll find out in nine months.’
    I sipped my tea glumly, wished I’d just not told her in the first place and wondered if it was too early for me to say I was
     going home.
    ‘We’re what, November now? Ooohh, a summer baby!’ she teased.
    Oh for God’s sake. Since Anita had gone on maternity leave, it had become horribly apparent that beyond the bubble of medical
     rep gossip, neither of us – despite previously having been happy partners in work-related crime – actually had anything in
     common at all. Our ‘catch ups’ had become little more than me regaling the latest work dramas while she tried to look interested
     in people she no longer cared about and stared adoringly at her baby. I would then try to look equally fascinated by the very
     detailed updates on her son’s sleeping habits. The visit had been looming in my diary like the Black Spot for weeks and I
     should have jumped ship a lot earlier. I could easily have blamed work being too busy, which actually wasn’t far from the
     truth. But then it had sort of snuck up on me before I’d realised and by then it was too late to cancel.
    ‘Can I ask you a question?’ she said cosily. ‘I don’t mean to be nosy Moll, but—’
    I braced myself, clearly she was about to be very nosy indeed.
    ‘—why’s Dan – taking matters into his own hands?’
    I went quiet … but she was reaching to get a muslin and didn’t see the look on my face. ‘I just assumed you must be trying
     like crazy, you being – what – thirty-three? To be honest, I thought there was some
medical
issue and that was why it was all taking