The Perfect Life by Robin Lee Hatcher Read Free Book Online

ripped from me: “Did you have an affair with her? Did you sleep with her?”
    â€œNo. Never. Nothing inappropriate happened between us. When I realized what Nicole . . . wanted, I suggested she find another place of employment. She left a few weeks later.”
    I hugged myself.
    â€œYou know me better than this, Kat. You know I’d never be unfaithful.”
    In my lifetime, I’d seen ministers and televangelists experience spectacular falls from grace after giving in to sexual temptation. Who could forget the scandals that wracked the evangelical community in recent decades? Some of those men cheated with women who worked for them. Some with prostitutes. Some—
    I shuddered.
    I remembered the wives. Women who expressed surprise when allegations were leveled against their husbands. Women who, at least for a time, stood by their men, exuding confidence in their vindication.
    Wives who’d been wrong all along.
    I’d thought them foolish or deluded. How could a wife not know that her husband was having an affair? How could a wife not know if his behavior was less than godly?
    Was I foolish as well? Had I been deluded all this time?
    No.
    The phone rang, and I cringed. Whoever it was, I didn’t want to talk to them. I didn’t want to hear anyone ask, “Did you see the show?” Because behind that question would be another one: “Is it true?”
    I fled the family room, hurrying up the stairs, through our bedroom, and into the master bathroom, locking the door behind me. My back to the wall, I slid to the floor and drew my knees to my chest.
    God, why are You letting this happen?
    The church would have to conduct an investigation into Brad’s actions. He was in leadership at Harvest, and now there was a question of moral failure. What about the women who came to our home on Wednesday evenings? Would they think me unfit to lead them in Bible study? Would they be able to trust me?
    Can I trust Brad?
    I pressed the heels of my hands against my ears, wanting to silence the questions. I had no answers, wasn’t sure I wanted answers, wasn’t sure I wanted the truth. All I wanted was my old life back.
    â€œKatherine.” A soft rap followed. “Open the door.”
    â€œNo.”
    Brad jiggled the knob. “Come on, honey. We need to talk about this.”
    â€œNot right now.”
    â€œPlease.”
    â€œI can’t. Not yet.”
    â€œKat—”
    â€œGo away, Brad. I need to be alone.” I drew in a breath. “I’ll be all right. I just need some time.”
    He was silent a long while, so silent I wondered if he’d walked away without my knowing it. But then he said, “I’ll be in the den when you’re ready.”Another moment of silence. “That was Emma on the phone. She wanted to know if we need anything, if she should come over. I told her to wait until morning.”
    Okay , I mouthed. My throat was too tight for sound to push through.
    I stayed there a long, long while. Hours, maybe. And the devil had a heyday, taking my imagination places I didn’t want it to go. I pictured things I didn’t want to see. I heard sounds and words I didn’t want to hear. But neither could I take every thought captive, no matter how hard I tried. And I did try. Only I didn’t know how to shut it off.
    Finally, I went numb. My head. My heart. It was a relief to stop feeling, to stop thinking, to simply withdraw into a quiet corner deep in my soul and hide. I never wanted to come out. Not ever again.
    Of course, eventually I had to rise. Eventually I had to force myself to my feet, my legs shaky beneath me. By rote, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, shed my clothes, put on my nightgown, and opened the bathroom door. The soft glow of a nightlight led my way toward the bed.
    Brad was there, lying on his side, either asleep or pretending to be. I slipped between the sheets.
    â€œKat.”
    â€œNot tonight,