The Queen's Mistake by Diane Haeger Read Free Book Online

sins and begged God’s forgiveness for what was youthful folly.”
    Dorothy leaned back, gazing critically at the brother and sister at the table. “There is a price to be paid for all folly; make no mistake about that. It is only a pity that the poor dear who is about to meet that debt at court is poor Cat Howard. She has been trained here like a whore, while the old duchess turned a blind eye in case there would be some benefit. Catherine has absolutely no idea at all what is in store for her or what to do with it. You would both be wise, before God, to pity and not envy that.”

    In a rich yet outdated riding costume of dun velvet, one she had borrowed from her grandmother, Catherine glanced around a final time at the dormitory as she waited for the horses to be brought to the front of the manor. She had lived much of her life here like a servant, and yet her heart was racing now at the thought of the great unknown that lay ahead. And, while she no longer loved him, and perhaps she never truly had, she realized as she was preparing
to leave without even seeing him to say good-bye that a part of her would actually miss Francis.
    Somewhere along the way, while learning how to play the game and to toy with men, Catherine had for a while actually cared for him. She felt a little pull of guilt upon remembering that. She did not love him any longer. She was uncertain whether she could ever truly love anyone, for the urge to survive overpowered her desire for anything else. But he had most definitely made an impact on her life.
    “So then it is true?”
    The sound of his voice, uncharacteristically reedy and trembling, startled her. He was so close behind her that Catherine could feel his breath on the back of her neck. But she did not turn to face him.
    “How can you go when you are my wife?”
    “Surely you realize we are not really married, Francis. Our troth-plighting was a game only.”
    “Not to me.”
    She turned around slowly to see him standing there, entirely bereft. His eyes, which were normally so brightly blue and full of mischievous pleasure, were bloodshot and misted with tears. His hands hung limply at his sides, as if all the life had gone out of him. His desperation brought a sensation of revulsion from Catherine rather than compassion. It made her think too much of Henry Manox, who had pleaded tearfully when she had ended things with him.
    “I haven’t any choice, Francis,” she said in a low voice. “It is the will of my uncle, the Duke of Norfolk. You have always known who I am, not just who my grandmother treated me as.”
    “Ah, but you haven’t known it.” He shrugged his shoulders slightly. “And it was that part of you I foolishly allowed myself to love.”
    “You should not have loved me. It was folly. They were games we played, all of us.”

    “It would have been easier to cut out my own heart than not to fall in love with you. You have become a great beauty, Cat, full of promise. The Duke of Norfolk sees that as clearly as any of us. But he alone has the power to take full advantage of it.”
    “They say I look too much like my cousin Anne Boleyn to find any real favor at court. Her memory still looms large with the king. I suspect my uncle plans to use me rather as a set of eyes and ears to spy for him in the queen’s household.”
    “And to make a good match with someone of his choosing.”
    “Yes, likely that.”
    Catherine glanced back at Dereham. “I’m sorry I did not tell you myself. I just really did not know how. Forgive me?”
    “One last embrace in the bargain?” he asked, his charming grin for the moment returned.
    Catherine laughed blithely for the first time in days, and let him fold her into his arms. She would miss that—the challenge and the little victories of seducing a handsome, sensual young man like Francis. She could only guess at the complications of the royal court before her.
    “My lady grandmother and the Duke of Norfolk both believe I am still an