The Redemption of a Dissolute Earl by Julie Johnstone Read Free Book Online

than moments before. She wiggled
her numb toes, suddenly afraid of freezing to death. How long did
it take before one died? How cold did it have to be? Overwhelmed
with sadness and fear, she pressed her head into her hands, deep
sobs wracking her body. Memories invaded her—Drew, his face twisted
in anguish, as he told her his father would disinherit him if he
married her. Tears had flowed down his stubbly jaw, and his body
had shaken when he gripped her.
    She’d been so mortified, so angry. She’d
wanted only to hate him. When her father had suggested she’d been
seduced and all the other servants had agreed with him, she had
been eager to believe her father’s scenario that Drew had found her
attractive, wanted her, and employed any means necessary to have
her. It was easier than to believe Lord Norland’s horrid words that
she was a woman of easy virtue whom Drew had bedded and asked to
marry in a childish attempt to anger his father. Either scenario
was bad.
    She moaned with the memories. She saw Drew
leaving her room, unable to look her in the face. His gaze had
darted everywhere, never settling on her. She’d decided it was
because of embarrassment, but perhaps it had been shame.
    She curled her fingers into the carriage
cushion. She didn’t hate Drew. The acceptance of the truth was
liberating. She loved him, but it was different now. She was
different . She’d thought of Drew as a golden god―an invincible,
beautiful creature with all the comforts life could ever offer who
had turned his glorious love on her.
    Drew was simply a man, vulnerable to the
core and flawed. She couldn’t hate him anymore for his weakness. He
had demons enough without her hate. Maybe someday she would find a
man who would want nothing more in life than to wake up morning
after morning beside the woman he loved and who loved him
wholeheartedly in return. If they awoke in a cottage on a lumpy bed
with a dripping roof and they had to scrape for every pence they
had, they would be rich beyond words because they would be rich in
love.
    Her head pounded, whether from the cold or
the revelations, she wasn’t sure. She closed her eyes and willed
the pounding to subside. Hopefully, Drew would not be in residence
when she was there, but if he was, she would simply have to avoid
him. She understood just how vulnerable she was, and she did not
want to fall prey to his silken words again and risk her heart for
a man who would risk nothing for her. She accepted that she loved
him, but she refused to accept that she was so weak she would allow
him to seduce her again when she knew it would go nowhere.
    She pulled the bundle of blankets beneath
her chin and hummed to herself, until her humming and the wind
became the same in her ears and memories of sitting on her mother’s
lap and being rocked in the warmth of her embrace filled her. When
her head began to fall, she jerked up and started to hum again.
Whatever happened, she must stay alert.
     

     
    Hours after leaving Miss Marchinson, Drew
stared out of the slow-moving carriage into the darkness of the
night and waited for Edgeworth’s breathing to turn to the deep
rhythm of sleep. As Drew suspected, it didn’t take long for
Edgeworth’s breathing to change. Just to be certain, Drew glanced
at his cousin. Sleep had indeed claimed him. The man was sprawled
across the length of the carriage, his booted feet propped on the
opposite seat, his features relaxed into a perfect picture of
sedateness.
    Relinquishing his tight control on his
emotions, Drew dropped his face into his hands and inhaled a long,
shuddering breath. Pretending as if he did not feel like he was
dead inside while trying to carry on a semblance of conversation
with Edgeworth had been one of the most tedious things Drew had
ever done. Especially since Edgeworth had kept questioning Drew
about what he would do if Char had not now been married. As if it
bloody well mattered.
    Damn Char . She was now married
to another man, and