The Road to Oxiana by Robert Byron Read Free Book Online

she was sick out of the window. Sometimes we stopped; when we did not, her vomit flew back into the car by the other window. It was not a pleasant three hours.
    The post has brought newspaper cuttings describing the departure of the Charcoal-Burners. Even
The Times
has half a column. The
Daily Express
writes:
    Five men left a West-end hotel last night on a secret expedition. It may prove to be the most romantic expedition ever undertaken.
    They left London for Marseilles and the Sahara Desert. After that, few men know what their destination will be.
    A PREMATURE ANNOUNCEMENT MIGHT ENTAIL SERIOUS POLITICAL CONSEQUENCES.

    These five men will travel by two lorries driven by portable gas plants. The fuel used is ordinary charcoal, and re-fuelling is necessary only every fifty or sixty miles. It is the first time this new invention has been used, but it is probable that it will be universally utilised for road transport in the future.
    It is a nuisance to find one’s name associated with such rot.
    We now await the
Champollion
, with cars and party on board.
    Beyrut
,
September 16th
.—My forebodings have come true.
    I went on board the
Champollion
at daybreak. Goldman? Henderson? Deux camions? No one had heard of them. But Rutter was there, with a tale of disaster and absurdity.
    The cars broke down at Abbeville. They might have continued on petrol, but have been secretly returned to England, where the invention is to be further perfected and a new start is to be made, this time unknown to the press, in a month or so. Lest I also should return and give the failure away by my presence in London, Rutter has been sent on ahead to expedite me safely into Persia. In fact I am gratuitously invested with the powers and character of a blackmailer.
    We have spent most of the day in the sea, recovering from shock, and have booked places in the Nairn bus for Baghdad on Tuesday.
    Mr. Nairn himself came in for a drink this evening, inquisitive about the charcoal cars. Having known of the invention for many years, or others like it, he was sceptical, and with the best will in the world we could not oppose much faith to his doubts. All Syria is excited by the pictures of his new Pullman bus, which is to arrive in November.
    Damascus
,
September 18th
.—Since our arrival on these coasts, Christopher and I have learned that the cost of everything from a royal suite to a bottle of soda watercan be halved by the simple expedient of saying it must be halved. Our technique was nicely employed in the hotel at Baalbek.
    â€œFour hundred piastres for
that
room?
Four hundred
did you say? Good God! Away! Call the car. Three hundred and fifty?
One
hundred and fifty you mean. Three hundred? Are you deaf, can’t you hear? I said a hundred and fifty. We must go. There are other hotels. Come, load the luggage. I doubt if we shall stay in Baalbek at all.”
    â€œBut, sir, this is first-class hotel. I give you very good dinner, five courses. This is our best room, sir, it has bath and view of ruins, very fine.”
    â€œGod in heaven, are the ruins yours? Must we pay for the very air? Five courses for dinner is too much, and I don’t suppose the bath works. You still say three hundred? Come down. I say, come down a bit. That’s better, two hundred and fifty. I said a hundred and fifty. I’ll say two hundred. You’ll have to pay the other fifty out of your own pocket, will you? Well
do
, please. I shall be delighted. Two hundred then? No? Very good. (
We run downstairs and out of the door
.) Goodbye. What? I didn’t hear. Two hundred. I thought so.
    â€œAnd now a whisky and soda. What do you charge for that? Fifty piastres. Fifty piastres indeed. Who do you think we are? Anyhow you always give too much whisky. I’ll pay
fifteen
piastres, not fifty. Don’t laugh. Don’t go away either. I want exactly this much whisky, no more, no less; that’s only half a full portion. Thirty, you say? Is thirty half