The Saint's Mistress by Kathryn Bashaar Read Free Book Online Page A

for
    the constables to haul away.
    I returned Peter to his mother in the shop that morning, and Miriam was so happy to see him,
    weeping with joy and scolding him at the same time, that she barely noticed me, and for that I
    was glad. I felt transformed, as if my whole body must glow with my new secret.
    My sharp-eyed sister noticed that something was different about me. Numa walked into the
    shop at a pace quicker than her usual stroll, and her face sagged with in relief when she saw me.
    But, instantly, she frowned. “Well, you look bright for someone we thought was dead.”
    I wanted to hug her, but I looked down instead. “I’m sorry. Peter ran off and I had to find him.
    Then we got stuck and… a kind family offered us a place to stay the night.”
    She frowned again. I could tell she suspected there was more to the story. “Have you heard
    anything of Maron?” she asked. “He didn’t come home either.”
    “I saw him yesterday in the middle of the riot,” I admitted. I lowered my voice to a whisper.
    “He was carrying a club.”
    Numa nodded. “That’s what father’s afraid of. I have to get to work. I’m glad you’re all
    right.” Now, finally, she embraced me, but it felt awkward and she cast another puzzled frown
    over her shoulder as she left.
    All day, I saw the shop, and Miriam and the children and our customers, through a veil, my
    mind absorbed in the events of the previous evening: the tumult in the forum, the sumptuous
    dinner, and, most of all, what had happened between me and Aurelius. My heart rapped against
    my chest all day, and I felt more than light-headed; I felt light all over as if my mind had left my
    body, leaving my legs and arms with a simple drill to follow on their own: walk into the back
    room, reach for this roll of cloth, now open it for the customer, now smile pleasingly. Between
    my legs I still felt raw and moist. If I squeezed my legs together under my tunic, I could imagine
    I still felt his presence there.
    My brain jangled with the question of whether to meet him in the square as usual for our
    reading lesson. I couldn’t think of a reason not to, but I felt uncomfortable, as if our intimacy last
    night had changed things in a way I didn’t understand. I realized then how naïve and unknowing
    I was about such things, and wished I could ask someone how to conduct myself, but my usual
    confidantes were Miriam and Numa, the people from whom I most wanted to keep my secret.
    I wished Aurelius would come to the shop and give me a signal that our daily meeting time
    remained unchanged, but as the afternoon sunlight puddled into the shop, I slowly put away the
    remaining rolls of cloth and sorted the day’s coins into bags for Miriam, reluctant to make my
    way to the square, where I would either wait or keep going for my walk home.
    “You’re quiet today,” Miriam observed.
    It took me a few seconds to collect an answer. “I’m still upset about yesterday,” I said. Not a
    lie, exactly.
    She nodded, and rubbed my back. “Will you meet your friend for your reading lesson today?”
    “I suppose.” I shrugged, then squared my shoulders and took a breath. “I’d better be going or
    I’ll be late. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
    She gave my shoulders a squeeze, whispered, “Thanks again,” and let me go.
    23

    I set off for the square purposefully, but my stride slowed as I approached and once more
    began to feel the anxiety that everything had changed, that he might not be there waiting for me.
    I dragged my feet towards the town center, scanning for him so if he wasn’t there I could keep
    moving instead of suffering the humiliation of waiting and waiting and finally giving up.
    Who I saw was not Aurelius, but Numa. “Are you ready for a sight that will turn your
    stomach?” she asked me.
    “What is it?”
    She looked me in the eye and took my hands. “Maron is dead.”
    “Oh.” The syllable was expelled from me by some force that knotted my stomach