The Same Deep Water by Lisa Swallow Read Free Book Online

I’m not. No pigeon holes for me.”
    Does he hide his pain as well as I do? I’ve almost asked him several times this evening what’s wrong with him, but can’t. I refused to open up about the pain behind my illness. I can’t expect him to open up to me.
    “I’ve had an idea,” says Guy, topping up our glasses. “I honestly think we should do the lists together. All of them.”
    “I already said I was fine with that.”
    “I know, but plan things. One every week or so for the items on the lists we can do nearby. Meet up, have fun for a few hours, and then back to reality. No strings. No expectations.” I sip my wine and study him over the rim. No expectations. Can I spend time with Guy and not want more? Is that what he’s hinting at? Casual hook-ups to accompany our weird dates? Dates?
    “How long for?” I ask. “I mean, how long do you have?”
    He remains looking at me then rubs his head. “A few months.”
    “Can I ask what’s wrong with you?”
    He sighs and puts down his glass. “No. I will tell you, but not yet. I don’t want to spoil our evening.”
    “Oh. Right. Sorry I didn’t mean to cause you issues.”
    “All good, Phe.”
    We haven’t moved from the kitchen and my back aches from sitting too long in the low backed stool. “I should go. I’m tired.”
    Guy slides his phone across the bench and checks the time. “Eleven. You okay to drive home?”
    “I’m fine. I’ve only had a couple of glasses. Thanks for the meal.”
    “Thanks for choosing.” I pout at him and he laughs. “Catch up soon?”
    “When I find something on the list?”
    “If you like.” Guy stands too. “Can I ask one more question?”
    “Okay...” I’d hoped to leave before the awkward goodbye joined us. I can’t help feel the conversations around ‘fun’ had deeper connotations, or that Guy notices my attraction to him. He hasn’t stood this close to me since the night we met. When we sat together, there was a distance, now almost face to face that’s closed again. He rubs a finger along his lips as he studies me and I’m increasingly convinced the attraction is mutual .
    “What’s Phe short for if your name isn’t Fiona?”
    I take a shaky breath, caught off guard. “Ophelia, but nobody calls me that. Ever.”
    He shrugs. “No problem, I was curious because I’ve never met a Phe before.”
    “I’ve never met a Guy before.”
    “Not one like me, that’s for sure.” The conversation remains light but the tension weighs heavy between us. Oh, yeah, definitely not one like you . I’ve never met a man who jump-starts my heart every time his dark blue eyes meet mine.
    I keep my cool and hope he doesn’t notice my reaction. “Undoubtedly.”
    He shifts closer and I will him not to touch me, and wish he would. “Bye, Ophelia. Keep your head above the water.”
    The name washes over, pulling me back to the past and wiping away the present. This breaks the tension and makes leaving easier, and following a muttered goodbye, I head outside into the fresh air.
    Guy doesn’t understand what his words have done and what I’m facing tonight.

 
     
    Chapter Seven
     
     
    Water fills the car. I managed to crank open the door a small amount as we plunged beneath the river, panic prompting me to choose the wrong choice of action. The car was afloat after it hit the river but when I opened the door, the flooding water hastened the submersion.
    My parents don’t move, and I scream for them as the pressure slams the door closed again. My little brother, Robin, doesn’t wake, strapped in his car seat and sleeping. I fumble with the buckle, gasping for air in the waterlogged space. My head dips beneath the water, muffling my cries for help as I struggle to unstrap him.
    Darkness engulfs, the water stealing my family one by one. I unclip my brother and desperately hold Robin in the small air space above the water. I can’t get us out of the car and hold him up at the same time. The door won’t open